I am 25 years old and have been out to my very Catholic parents for just over a year. I came out to my siblings when I was a bit younger, about 6 years ago. As expected, my parents have made very little progress towards accepting me being gay. Although they didn't disown me, they have had a very hard time adjusting to the idea. For example, they refuse to even acknowledge that my boyfriend exists. They have known about him for 6 months but won't even say his name and refuse to meet him. When they saw a picture of me with him on Facebook, they called me, sobbing hysterically, saying "How can you do this to us?", "What if somebody finds out about you?" and so forth. All because there was a picture of my boyfriend and I on Facebook. And just last week, before Thanksgiving, my Dad said "Do us a favor: if any of your relatives ask, just tell them you don't have a girlfriend. This is just too hard for us to deal with." Again, not able to acknowledge that my boyfriend exists, but still wanting to remind me that they disapprove of me being gay. Nor do they acknowledge that my sexuality is about me, not them. All they ever talk about is how it affects them, and they certainly don't care to think about how their behavior is impacting me, even when I tell them how they make me feel. They always remind me how difficult it is for them to adjust to the fact that I am gay, and yet try to shut me down when I explain to them that this isn't exactly a walk in the park for me. They tell me that since they are older, they know more about how the world works and that being gay is clearly wrong. In fact, they are confident that I am not "gay" but rather that I "suffer from same sex attractions." Although my siblings have each met my boyfriend once, they are still nowhere near being fully accepting of my sexuality. They reacted in a similar fashion as my parents (not wanting anyone to know, trying to guilt trip me, trying to convince me this situation was more difficult for me than them, etc.) when I first came out to them. After 6 years they have shown some progress but are not fully accepting and do not even mention my boyfriend or ask me how he is doing. Overall, my parents try to guilt trip me and have not shown any signs of progress toward accepting me. My friends all encourage me to start cutting off communication with my parents until they can start acting more favorably. Does anyone else with homophobic parents have any advice? I feel like cutting them off may be drastic and almost juvenile, but my friends, gay and straight, feel it may be necessary for my parents to put things into perspective. Thoughts?
I'm in a similar situation. My advice is to sit your family down and tell them how their actions are impacting you. Explain it is not a choice. As they are Catholic, try to explain the fact that although homosexuality may be a sin, people sin everyday and it is no worse than any other regular sin. If they continue to treat you badly for being Gay, I would limit your contact with them. Don't let them affect you. Be yourself and don't try to change for them. Good luck
Well, I don't speak from experience but a REALLY good friend of mine was in the same boat. His parents refused to meet his boyfriend (bf=B). My friend (A) was literally PRAYED at. He just left one day. A moved in with B and they're now getting married. He was 18 when this happened. For you, have you ever thought of just saying "fuck off it's my life" to them? If your family is guilt tripping you just remove yourself from the situation
are you financially independent of your parents, have your own place etc? if so, live your life, either they (parents/sibs) will adjust or they won't. not much you can do about that in any case. ---------- Post added 3rd Dec 2014 at 11:59 AM ---------- you could tell them that God, in His Perfection, made you this way and the sin is denying His work to make you gay.
