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I don't Know What to do for my Boyfriend in This Situation

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jguy365, Dec 3, 2014.

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  1. Jguy365

    Jguy365
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    Out to everyone
    The worst possible scenario has happened to my boyfriend. His mom is not accepting his sexuality and has sent him away to a psychiatric hospital. I don't know what happened...he's been out to her for 2 months and she was fine with it until now...all of a sudden she's telling him that she doesn't want a fag living in her house and is sending him away to a mental hospital. Not to mention that she kicked him out of the house. He had been staying with one of his friends. I got a call from the phone he had been borrowing from his friend. To my surprise, it was not him but his friend's mom telling me that John had been taken to a mental hospital.

    I just don't know what to do...I feel powerless. I can't even begin to imagine how broken and lost and distraught he feels...Our relationship is long distance, so it's not the easiest for me to go and see him...and I doubt that psychiatric hospitals allow visitors much. What can I do? It's been a day since we've talked and I already miss him terribly. We both really need each other, and nobody has ever loved me the way he does...I just don't know what to do. If there is some way, any way that I can remind him that I love him and that everything will be okay someday...I'm afraid that he will break down beyond repair if he doesn't feel my support. I'm stuck. This just sucks.
     
    #1 Jguy365, Dec 3, 2014
  2. DrinkBudweiser

    DrinkBudweiser
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    first of all i noticed you're from ft wayne...
    WHY ARE ALL THE PARENTS IN FORT WAYNE CRAZY?
    seriously i've been with 2 girls from there and i know multiple others and i feel like 90% of their parents are the most unaccepting bible thumpers i've come in contact with.

    anyway and then i read the article and notice that it's a long distance relationship. still, it must be the ft wayne association.

    honestly, there isn't much you can do. just wait it out. it's a tough and shitty situation but i assume that you're both young (under 18? assuming since his parents sent him to the mental hospital.) - is it even legal to do that over homosexuality?
     
    #2 DrinkBudweiser, Dec 4, 2014
  3. David21201

    David21201
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    ummm... they can actually allow people to go into psychiatric wards for that??
    it not a mental condition so i dont think they can legally do that
     
    #3 David21201, Dec 4, 2014
  4. whatdoIneed

    whatdoIneed
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    Well who knows what the Mom said about why she wanted him admitted. Plus it could be some type of place that treats being gay as a mental disorder or something that can be prayed away.
     
    #4 whatdoIneed, Dec 4, 2014
  5. aboutface

    aboutface
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    Do you know anyone else that lives near this friend that might be able to help?

    I also question how he even got admitted to a mental hospital, I don't think you can do that to someone for being gay in these days but maybe she lied or something. Maybe you could also contact the mental hospital (assuming you know/can find out where he is exactly) and try to explain to whoever you can talk to there what you know of the situation.
     
    #5 aboutface, Dec 4, 2014
  6. Isa

    Isa
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    Wow, that's the sickest thing i've heard! As others have said, how the hell can you get sent to a psychiatric hospital for being gay? I'm also thinking his mother lied.

    Is it possible for you to find the name of the hospital? You have talked to him since he left? What is he saying, has he heard why he's there? If the mother lied, then they should notice fairly quickly that whatever the mother said isn't true.
     
    #6 Isa, Dec 4, 2014
  7. Hemlock

    Hemlock
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    How could this happen?! I thought they stopped classifying homosexuality as a mental disorder a long time ago. Anyway, I'm terribly sorry, this situation just all around sucks and isn't fair at all. Depending on how long distance your relationship is, maybe you could try to set some time aside to at least try to visit him? I'm sure it would mean the world to him. Again, I'm really sorry about all of this. Wishing you and him the best of luck.
     
    #7 Hemlock, Dec 4, 2014
  8. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    All of this sounds very suspicious.

    Admission to a mental hospital doesn't happen for being gay (not even in Texas). You got this from his friend's mother, this may have been done to mislead you.

    Do you know where he is?
     
    #8 greatwhale, Dec 4, 2014
  9. Chip

    Chip
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    How old is the person in question? If he's under 18, unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do. There are some shady "schools" and "camps", some of which are located outside the US, where ignorant parents can send their kids to be "cured" of their wayward behaviors. So the first question is how old he is.
     
    #9 Chip, Dec 4, 2014
  10. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    Yeah, age of both parties would help.

    There are any number of reasons she could have had him put on a psych hold. Previous adjudication or suicide attempts, or any number of things. Don't know the whole history. My roommate got near suicidal after one night alone in a hotel. His (roommates) parents can put a 5150 hold on him, because of prior legal trouble, and admission to group home. Anyway, here is a link you can read about the rights of someone under such a hold.

    [51/50] 72 Hour Evaluation, Do You Know Your Rights? | Mental Health Humor

    Also I'd take everything you hear second hand, with a grain of salt.
     
    #10 kindy14, Dec 4, 2014
  11. Jguy365

    Jguy365
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    All of this sounds very suspicious.

    Admission to a mental hospital doesn't happen for being gay (not even in Texas). You got this from his friend's mother, this may have been done to mislead you.

    Do you know where he is?[/QUOTE]

    He told me himself a couple of days prior that his mom was considering taking him there. I am going to contact one of his friends to try and get the address of the hospital.

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 10:22 PM ----------
    He is 16, so still under the rules of his mom, unfortunately. If you ask me, his mom is the one who is sick in the head. To do something like this to her own son...

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 10:24 PM ----------
    In my opinion, I think that his mom is afraid that he will turn into his dad. From what he's told me, his dad is a very sick and twisted man. He did some...unmentionable things to him and one of his brothers when they were very little.

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 10:26 PM ----------
    He lives in Iowa and I live in Indiana. It's not a terrible distance. I would love to go there and see him. I feel like that would really give him the courage he needs to get through this.

    ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 10:30 PM ----------
    He is from Iowa. I'm not so sure where Iowa stands conservative/liberal wise. At any rate, his mom was fine with his sexuality for a solid 2 months and now she can't stand it all of a sudden. Something seems wrong here.

    I might add that my mom is perfectly fine with my sexuality and encourages me to be this way, only if it means that I am being true to myself. My dad doesn't know yet. I am unsure of how he will react. Even my mom can't tell. Knowing how much of a conservative Republican he is, I don't think it will be good.
     
    #11 Jguy365, Dec 4, 2014
  12. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    This is wrong, your boyfriends mother is not a proper mother. You should never send someone to a mental hospital just because they are gay. It's illegal to do it as well. Also what does she expect is going to happen, he's going to come back majestically cured. Nu uh it ain't gonna happen like that. You should try your hardest to support him. By visiting him in the hospital and by keeping in touch with him.
     
    #12 Justinian20, Dec 5, 2014
  13. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    We do not even know where this kid is, let alone why he is there. Please, don't judge Indiana to harshly. There is a range between hill jacks who are homo-phobes, and older people who aren't judgmental at all.

    Since the kid is 16 years old, there's very little you can do, save talk to his mother and find out what is going on. There may be much more to the story than what the OP has heard 2nd hand.

    If this kid were a good friend of mine, online or not, I'd talk to his mom and find out for sure what is going on.
     
    #13 kindy14, Dec 5, 2014
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