I have never really engaged in a gay relationship. In fact, I have never engaged in any healthy relationship whatsoever. I think I am on the path to maintain that record. It has been four years, since my senior year of high school, that I have "dated" anyone, or used the term "boyfriend." I have lately felt lonely, isolated, depressed; I have a yearning for touch... someone to touch and someone to touch me back. So I did the unthinkable. I put up a craigslist ad. 12 hours later, I had a date. God only knows what he was originally looking for, I didn't ask. My ad was very straightforward: I want a lax relationship. Well, the guy was very... forthcoming in the text messages. He also seemed somewhat uneducated. He's also thirty, and I'm twenty-two. I didn't think much of it at all, but he seems to think of it a lot. I thought I might like him and if not, he would be a stepping stone into the gay community to which I was exiled. In fact, however, he was actually pretty awesome to hang out with. He didn't make me feel uncomfortable, despite me meeting a strange man in his home. His roommates all like me. They thought I was a child though. I look like I'm 17... which has benefits and drawbacks. Attempting to engage in a mature equal partnership with someone who is eight years my senior is more difficult if it appears we are spread out by thirteen years instead. However, he turns ultra needy in his text messages, not similar to how he acts in person. He mentions wanting to make out with me, wanting me to sleep in his bed, loving me, wanting to be monogamous with me, wanting to have... children... with me, wanting to buy a house with me, wanting me to meet his mother and sister, he talks about how beautiful and smart and ... the compliments are endless. I can't take them. I hate self-absorption. I hate receiving too many compliments. I also hate giving them unless someone is worthy of a compliment. Is it bad that I think he acts like a fifteen year old girl? I could definitely like him as a friend, but I can't see a relationship ending well if I actually do become involved emotionally. It's not worth it. We are opposites - but he says opposites attract. I'm also just getting over my inward homosexual discrimination, being a Catholic. I don't know... what are your thoughts? ---------- Post added 4th Dec 2014 at 08:48 PM ---------- And now he just texted me saying he wants to change his relationship status. We met ONCE. ONE TIME. I don't even have him on my facebook.
This reminds me so much of my very first experience. Unfortunately I made the fatal mistake of prolonging it and sticking around believing that I would eventually like him. I later realized that I was being manipulated and guilt-tripped into doing what he wanted... It is something you have to learn to identify down the line with future people. My best advice would be to just break things off entirely and send him a message telling him that you don't feel the same way as he does and that he isn't what you are looking for. You can tell him that you are looking for someone your own age. To me, it doesn't sound like you are very attracted to him, or into him. You should move on as soon as possible. Also, be unapologetic and unrelenting in your text... believe me you will probably be begged and inundated with calls and text messages if you show the slightest sign of hesitation and doubt at what you are saying
Run don't walk if you aren't attracted to this person, and don't see a long term relationship. I would cut off all contact after telling him thanks for whatever, give him the "it's not you it's me speech." He seems very needy for a 30 year old. I should know, I can be pretty needy 50 year old. But, there's such a thing as boundaries, and this guy has crossed them, hit snares, and set off alarms. Trust your gut. Unrequited obsession can be very dangerous.
