Hey, everybody, So, I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks now. I'd kind of safely assumed he was gay, and after we started talking more, it quickly became fact. I pretty easily revealed it without outright saying it either, made some comment about an actor who was attractive in a film, and it was cool. So weeks pass and we've been talking and texting a lot, and tonight, while texting, he points out that he wishes guys flirted with him. I took the invitation, and nervously told him that he has "the cutest god damn face" and that he's really easy to talk to. After a few minutes of my trying to get control my nervous shaking enough to finish clipping my nails, he told me that he was "grinning uncontrollably." We feel the same way. So, he asked if I wanted to make a date, and so we're getting dinner somewhere next saturday, the 13th. Not only is it our first date, but it's also my actual first date ever. I'm so nervous and excited and it's crazy. But anyway, over the summer, I came out to my parents via letter. I came home, my mom was okay, shaken, but okay. My dad wasn't. But, the next morning, the first time I saw him, he hugged me and everything was kind of okay. Things had been okay. He's not happy about it, I'm sure, but it's whatever. He said one thing that was psuedo-supportive once, when my little brother made a comment about the church being wrong for not accepting gay people. But it's just kind of an awkward subject still, with both my mom and dad. Now, I don't really leave the house without letting one of them know where I'm going, so as for next Saturday, I don't really know what to do. I'm kind of scared to tell them that I'm going on a date, and I might just want to tell my mom that I'm going to get dinner with a different one of my friends that she doesn't really know. I don't want to deal with another round of new awkward... stuff. So, what do you think I should do?
When your on your date try and relax! It can be difficult but trying to act cool and say all the right stuff, which if this is not natural for you, will come off as you being a jerk. Another thing I think younger people over do is calling this a "date". Stressing about a "date" will likely make you more nervous. As an adult I never ask someone on a "date". I would say something like, "Would you like to have coffee sometime." That person will know that I like them and want to know more about them. If you want to consider it a date that's cool but maybe simply thinking of it as a fun chance to get to know someone you like, would help you relax. Also, remember everyone is nervous about these types of experiences. Concerning your parents, I have never had kids and so I would hate to give any bad advice... but as you are already out to so many people, and that hasn't gone entirely poorly, MAYBE you could tell your mom that you have a date and you don't want to lie about it but you need her support. If she is accepting of this she will likely have great advice because she will remember being nervous on her first date. Additionally she will likely tell your father, "we should be happy our son did not lie to us!" They might appreciate your honesty and simply lay down a few rules, they are your parents after all. Typically when parents ask where you are going, and with whom, its because they are worried about your safety. If you provide them with information letting them know you will be safe, they will be more likely to accept what you are doing. In closing, I don't know you or your parents so you have to decide what to do on your own but I hope these bits of wisdom are helpful! Good luck!
First off, congratulations on finding someone! :icon_bigg It's perfectly natural to feel nervous on a first date. It doesn't matter how many dates you've been on either, it doesn't get any easier. He will be just as nervous about it as you! Just be yourself and you'll be fine. Now, about your parents. This is where I give terrible advice so take it with a pinch of salt. Obviously, if you feel you can tell your mom about your date then you should, because I'm sure she'd appreciate your honesty. However, if I was worried about how they might handle it, I'd probably just say I was meeting a friend- because it's not strictly untrue. He is a friend- who you hope can become more than a friend, but one step at a time. Whatever you decide to do, if you're meeting this guy for the first time from the Internet, you must tell someone where you are and who you're with. Meet in a public place. This is standard safety stuff that you should always do, even if you know in your heart that it'll be fine.
Hey there and congrats! That is really exciting! I didn't take the time to read the above comments so please forgive me if I am repetitive. When I came out to my parents, one of the best things that came out of it was the opportunity to be honest with them about stuff like this. Given the reaction you shared from your parents, I think it would be okay to share the truth with them. Maybe start with your mom, given its kind of awkward with your dad, but I can't see any reason why it wouldn't go over at least "indifferent". If you chose not to tell either of them, make sure you tell your friends or someone at least so that they know where you are. This is mostly for safety in case anything happens. I still feel that you are in the clear to tell your parents and it may even help down the line with either other guys or when you go to bring this guy to your house. Talking about this stuff with people who are uncomfortable with it is a good way to slowly start to get them exposed to it. Anyways, good luck.
Hey evrybody, thanks for the responses. As for calling it a "date," I just kind of carrier that over from what he texted me; I was fully expecting if anything we would just be trying to hang out before calling anything a "date." But I kinda just carried the term over. This is NOT someone I met online, he's a friend of a friend who I happened to meet through a club in our school. We talked there a lot and started texting as well. Our schedules don't match up, so often times I won't see him in a day and we'll just text. But, no, I feel safe around him, and he's one of my friend's best friends, so I'm not worried at all. If any red flags go up I'll keep it in mind. I won't do anything stupid. Thanks for all the advice, guys, and there are a lot of really good points you guys put out so it helps for thinking it all through. I'm gonna continue to mull it over through the week. Thanks!
