Just needed to vent somewhere. If you read sorry if it doesn't make sense

Literally hate myself. All of my good friends are getting boyfriends and girlfriends and I'm so happy for them because they're happy but like it also makes me think about how lonely I am and how there are 0 gay people that live in my area that I like because they're all stuck up snobs. Then when I meet guys that have the kind of personality that I love and they're just so much fun to be around I have the question of whether or not they're straight. That always happens to me. The guys I like are always straight like I don't know why I can't find a guy that I like that is gay. Like I know I don't need to have a boyfriend, but the thought of me finally having someone to make me even happier than I already am then that would be amazing. I'm trying to push through the end of high school and just enjoy my senior year no matter what but it's so hard to not think about cute guys that I like when all of my friends are walking around with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Like I hate how all I can think about is the possibility of getting a boyfriend out of a situation like I know there is no need to be attached to the idea of being in a relationship and I need to make sure I'm happy myself but I cant not think of guys in a way where I think we could possibly start dating. I want to see if two guys are gay but like I don't know how and I don't want to make things awkward when all I want out of this is to date one of them like there is no need for me to try so hard to get a boyfriend. Ugh fuck me