1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I don't know how to respond to affection

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Fiziks, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. Fiziks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    My infatuation with this super-cool guy hasn't decreased. I think that he likes me back, and has demonstrated this by message, verbally, and physically. The only problem, is my social retardation, I can't respond to these in a way that reflects my feelings because I'm afraid of them, and especially, him knowing of them. He recently said something to the effect of "I'd give you a hug if you wouldn't run into a corner," but the only thing I wanted after he said that, was a hug [:bang: why am I sharing this anyway?]
    I am overly-apologetic whenever he 'intrudes' on my space to show me something (or for whatever reason) he thinks that it is funny that I say "sorry" for him, instead of vice-versa. I feel like an idiot because he recently slowed waay back on the hints, and gestures, I think, to be polite, how could he possibly know how much I really like him anyway? Needless to say, this consideration for me makes him seem even more attractive!
    I think the biggest reason why I can't return affection is the uncertainty as to if its even real in the "more than friendly sense." How can I relate to him that I only act like I mind him because I'm weird and not because I don't like him. Would it be easier just to tell him that I like him? I just don't want him to treat me like the people-fearing person that I am!
     
  2. breathingfree62

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2014
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just tell him how you feel!
    Life is short live it!
    What do you think will happen if you say you like him?
    Believe me I know all too well about being shy.
    It is scary to let you're guard down.
    He sounds fantastic and like he cares for you an awful lot.
    So I say tell him! :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 8th Dec 2014 at 08:24 PM ----------

    Get those hugs!
     
  3. OnTheHighway

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2014
    Messages:
    3,934
    Likes Received:
    632
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ditto those thoughts. Be open with him. Your concerns are reasonable, and you can ask him to help you eliminate them
     
  4. Chromedome

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Americas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I have the same problem. I'm a very quiet and shy person so I'm not accustomed to getting up close and personal with people whether they are friends or family. So when some guy or girl pats me on the back r tries to give me a hug i feel really awkward especially if the guy is cute, but I try to at least pretend to be interested to help myself get accustomed to people in my personal space. I'm apologetic too, i apologize when someone else bumps into me or if i walk into someone's ways or look in the line of sight. I try to tell myself to relax.
     
    #4 Chromedome, Dec 9, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  5. Fiziks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thank-you for the responses. Actually DOING this could be tricky but I suppose that I'll have to get past that. :confused: But seriously, thanks for the input.
     
    #5 Fiziks, Dec 9, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2014
  6. Fiziks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ok, so I reviewed the forum guidelines, and didn't see anything against writing in a dead thread... I honestly don't even know if this counts. If it does, disregard this please :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Nevertheless, I've an update!
    He was over with a number of people yesterday, for New Years' Eve and as it got later, the group of us ended up watching YouTube in the living room. I distanced myself from the small crowd of family and friends and sat down. He followed me and sat near me. When it turned 12:00 am or so, during when everyone else began talking, he turned to me and asked if my resolution was to stop saying sorry so much. That would have been normal if it wasn't for how close he was to me! His face filled my right side field of vision so much that if I turned, I would have smashed noses with him. I just timidly sat there and tried my best look of smiling confidence as I cocked my head to look at him without impeding on his space (not that I think that's an issue with him.)

    Anyway, I think that he deserves to know that I have feelings for him, and I should tell him this Saturday.

    He smells nice.

    Wow, I am such an idiot... Heh.
     
  7. Voidivine

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    My own realm.
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    As you are socially retardated, I understand, that it would be difficult for you to tell him the words openly. Actually, he loves you. So.

    Tell him, "Help me." When he answers, "Yes?", tell him, "I am afraid of everything and myself." This would definitely interest him and it would start rolling. Simply tell him everything, that concerns you, but your loving him. If he is smart enough, he would build in his mind the image of the last events in a violet colour.