So a few months ago, I met this guy and we texted for a while. Needless to say, it was flirty and eventually I hooked up with him. Afterwards, he basically told me that this would not be a one time thing. About a week after, we just stopped talking. It was nothing personal, We just got really busy and he never texted me either. To be honest, I wasn't as hurt as I thought. Fast forward to last week. I was going through my contacts, and saw his name. I thought, "what the hell. I wonder what this guy is up to" with no expectations of anything. He replied instantly and obviously showing that he was glad to hear from me after so long. We started talking about what's new and how we were doing. Apparently, he's in a happy relationship with this guy. I was happy for him! Then things turned around. He started getting a little flirty. I can't say that I didn't like it... And then he started having problems with his current boyfriend. Just a few days ago, he broke up with his boyfriend. Now he's upping the flirting with me and continuously tells me how he's single now. I would LOVE to be with this guy. The feelings I had for him came flooding back. I just have a bad feeling that I will just be his rebound after this break up. I don't want to end up getting hurt if this is just a "one time" thing again. Should I wait until I start flirting even more? Or should I just go for it? Or even better, should I avoid this whole situation? I'm so conflicted. :bang: TL;DR: I am flirting with an old flame and I'm afraid that I will just be his rebound if I go for him now. I am probably way overthinking this, but that's how I am.
maybe the ex boyfriend was a rebound? But yes, as hard as it is, you should try to keep yourself in the mindset of reciprocity- let his body language and his actions be an initiator for yours... it is true that you don't want to get hurt in this, and there is a chance that you may get hurt from this on account of the fact that he just broke up- but that should never stop you, nor should a possible 'what if' be a deterrent for something which you clearly want...
This is a very good possibility. He was in a pretty bad relationship for 2 months (not me) before this one. The way he described it, it sounded like he went straight from one relationship to another. I'm considering maybe just continuing talking to him and flirting, but not make any bold moves. My friend also suggested that I bring the issue up with him straight. Just tell him that I don't want to just be a rebound and eventually get hurt.
So, a bit of an update: He officially called me his boyfriend, and I thought things were going pretty well. He told me that he deleted his ex off of Facebook and is happy to let him go to be with me. He told me that I make him happy and that I was "everything [he] needs". Just yesterday though, I was on my newsfeed and I saw that he had re-added his ex... Why he would do this after deleting him a week ago is beyond me. Is it bad that I am preparing myself for a "breakup" and him leaving me to be with his ex a second time? Or should I look past it and not think about it? I might just be overthinking it all, but I have a bad feeling about all this.
So...you "are everything he needs"...full stop. Clearly, the guy doesn't seem to understand what relationships are all about. Neither you nor anyone else was put on this earth to be "everything" someone needs. He makes it all about what he needs, and you, what do you need? How about a stable relationship with a decent guy who will put in the effort to put you above his own needs? I don't think this "relationship" will last long, unfortunately...
You are absolutely right. I don't think this relationship will last, but it still hurts nonetheless. I care a lot about him. I'm just waiting for him to tell me that it's over because I don't want to accuse him of doing something if he didn't actually do it or it meant nothing. But I am still preparing for the break up.
Yeah, I know the feeling...but it doesn't seem like you've had too much invested in him. Probably best to hold off until he actually disappoints you, at least you are prepared. Best of luck!
