How do you cope with sibling comparisons? I've been struggling a lot lately with low self esteem, and I think a big reason why is because of my identical twin sister. Although my parents make a point not to compare us, it doesn't change the fact that I compare us a lot. Some days, having an identical twin makes me feel good. I know my sister is very pretty, so I think "well, we are identical, and if she looks so good, then I can't look that bad." On the other hand, there are days where it has the opposite effect. Obviously I think we look nothing alike, because I notice every single difference between our faces (all twins feel this way - it's hard to explain). There are obviously other comparisons too (school, grades, sexuality, talents, ambition, friends, etc.), but I won't get into all of them. Basically, what I'm trying to ask is how do you deal with comparing yourself to your siblings? (especially if you feel like they are more successful, attractive, etc.) I get that my situation is unique because I'm a twin, but I'm sure people can relate with regular siblings as well. This has really been getting me down in the dumps lately. It's been making me quite depressed; I hope I can get over it eventually. I think some of this has been spurred by me questioning myself. When I started considering if I was gay, the first thing I obviously compared myself to was my sister, who I'm about 80-90% sure is straight, and I guess that led to other comparisons as well.
Well, my fraternal twin and I are really different, but are still the same, for lack of better words. I was always the smart nerd who didn't do sports(I used to do a lot, but not anymore) and was slightly misanthropic(And allergic to stupidity). He was the dumb, athletic person who was friendly to everyone. He always got the girl, I did not(My friend's mother actually believes that this is the cause for my homosexuality). He is short and muscular, I'm tall and lean. I've constantly struggled with being insecure about myself and depression for quite awhile now. But at the end of the day, you just have to remind yourself that you are better than them in some ways too. Everyone thinks they're unattractive to some degree, but nobody's perfect, and whatever makes you think you look ugly, makes someone else go "OMG SHES TOTES HAWT!!!!!!". Believe in yourself, and nobody can take you down.
I'm only one year older than my sister so we grew up pretty much being treated as a set; like twins, I imagine. We are as different as if we were born on separate planets but I still compared myself to her. She was always considered the pretty one (an elderly relative used to always call her princess - I had no such nickname). But over time I realized I have some pretty great qualities which she lacks. I have less "crow's feet" around my eyes but now know it's because I smiled less than her and I'm rectifying that now. I'm positive once you start feeling better about yourself, your smile will shine, too. Try not to think about what she has that is is better than you, think about what is great about you.
