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Being bisexual and what it means for college and dating

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Will2M, Dec 13, 2014.

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  1. Will2M

    Will2M
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    College is about a half a year away for me now... And I am a little apprehensive. I am totally comfortable being bisexual, but I want it to actually mean something and as many bisexual people can attest, that can be hard. It is easy just to fall in line with social norms and just date women, but that is not who I am. I want to be with a guy, like date one, not just physically, at least once in my life.

    As a bisexual person though I feel like it will be hard in college, and just in life generally, to find other "non-straight" guys. Many people say you can just put yourself out there and find gay guys through mutual friends etc but as a bisexual it doesn't work like that. When I came out, people were like "wow, so courageous, congrats" etc etc etc but now it's like nothing ever happened. I feel like I am just straight again, because there aren't many guys that I can "establish" my bisexuality with to prove to everyone "hey, I actually am bisexual."

    Part of it is because I am still in high school where there are not nearly as many openly gay people but still, what if the same thing happens in college? I say I am bi and people are like "oh he is straight" or "oh he is gay and still in the closet."

    I feel like I have to say I am gay just to find any guy I can be close to, but I am not gay. That is not who I am and also if I did say that then I would lose the chance to date any girls. This whole being bisexual thing is beyond frustrating and sometimes I really wish I could just be straight or just be gay.

    The emotions I am feeling about this are so hard to describe... :frowning2:

    Sometimes I think about this and wonder if because I have this feeling for guys, this want to be with a guy, then it means I am gay. But I currently have this huge crush on a girl and we have been talking for a while so... I don't know. I'm just frustrated and scared that even though I am bisexual that I won't be able to be because of the double standard of being bisexual. Ugh. :frowning2:

    I know I am only in high school and I mentioned college... This is more of a college question. I don't think I will be dating or hooking up with any guys for the rest of my time in high school.

    So I guess what is your advice on it? Is there anyone on here who has been through college as a bisexual? How'd it go? Do you have any advice on being bi and dating in general?

    It's funny. Once I figured out my sexuality I thought all this emotional crap would be done with... I was wrong hahaha
     
    #1 Will2M, Dec 13, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2014
  2. jay777

    jay777
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    #2 jay777, Dec 15, 2014
  3. Runner5

    Runner5
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    As a senior in college, my advice would be not to worry about it. No one cares who you date, whether it's male or female. If you see a guy you think you're into, ask him out. A girl? Same thing. Even on a small campus there are so many people that it's not like you'll earn a reputation or anything.

    At my school, no one really cares that I'm bisexual. From personal experience, everyone who is out of the closet in college is so sick of sterotypes or crap they went through in high school or with their families that no one is about to judge you or treat you poorly because you're bisexual.

    As for feeling like you're straight, there may be a time in your life where you just feel gay. Unless you want to give polymory a try, you're going to be dating either one sex or the other. Just relax.
     
    #3 Runner5, Dec 15, 2014
  4. SongBird300

    SongBird300
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    I'm for all intensive purposes I am bi and in my Junior year in college and this ?"Forum"? ..Thread?? Helped me a Lot!

    Thank you Will2M for expressing almost everything I've thought with growing up being bi. No I haven't had that girlfriend but it is so soothing to read and relate to your message on my first time on this site.
     
    #4 SongBird300, Mar 13, 2016
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