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I'm questioning my sexuality but I'm not sure and I'm in a long-term relationship....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by QuietSouris, Dec 14, 2014.

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  1. QuietSouris

    QuietSouris
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    2
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    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So, the title basically says it all.

    I'm female, androgynous is actual fact and I have a male partner whom I have been involved with for 2 and half years now. I've always been a bit shaky in my sexuality and orientation but recently, I've really lost any of the stability I thought I had. I've been struggling with the feelings I have and it's really destroying my life.

    I don't think I love him anymore. At least, in a romantic manner. I'm not even physically attracted to him, as I was at the start. I'm not sure if I've just fallen out of love but seriously, the more I think about it, the less I'm attracted to men... In general.

    I think I'm ruining my relationship as well, because he seems to have caught on to the nervousness and anxiety I feel (after a few months) and... I'm trying to figure out what to do.

    I'm not a physical person as well, which is the exact opposite of him. I have issues with touch and affection and sex, which has also driven a wedge between us. I have a sexually abusive past, to put it plainly, and even that was hard to explain to him. Even knowing that, he's thingy about sex and though he understands why I am afraid, he gets frustrated and often brings it up when we fight. He seems to try and blame me for it...

    Don't get me wrong- he is a nice guy and all but....


    We don't have a SPARK anymore. It's like dating a friend, very awkward. But he's so in love with me it hurts me to watch. Because I have no reciprocative feelings there. I don't love him but at the same time, I know I'm going to crush his heart if I dissolve our relationship. We go to the same youth group, the same church, the same school, the same classes. We'd see each other everyday and I know it's going to hurt very much.

    What should I do? I have no idea and I have no one to turn to...

    If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!
     
    #1 QuietSouris, Dec 14, 2014
  2. Male Streisand

    Male Streisand
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2014
    Messages:
    65
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    0
    Location:
    Gauteng
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Re: I'm questioning my sexuality but I'm not sure and I'm in a long-term relationship

    Hi There, I understand that you could feel that your ruining your relationship with him, but its not your fault. I like to think that there is a person out there who is your exact match, who is struggling with the same sort of issues but have worked through it. This person, Boy/Girl, will be the person who you can turn to in YOUR time of need, and judging but your current boyfriend, he isn't the right person.

    I know how you feel, that you have nobody to turn to. And in your situation, I feel like you should try and reach out to a psychologist or a parent or even a teacher at your school. I know that it can be awkward talking to a teacher about these feelings you have, I've been there, but it helps. Try writing a letter, or even your feelings your having and use that as a form of release of tension. It may also help guiding you in making the correct decision as to your current boyfriend.

    Go Well and please let us know how things go :slight_smile:

    Streisand
     
    #2 Male Streisand, Dec 14, 2014
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