I've dated this girl since June. I'm very in love with her and I want to be with her. She felt a month ago that she feels we re very good to each other. But that she doesn't think she has been a hundred percent herself around me. She says that she doesn't know if that will be able to change. She also said it sucks because she thinks we have a great relationship and she doesn't know what's going on. Then a week later she told me she regrets what she said and that she thinks we are good together. That she feels committed. Now that we are apart for the winter. She asked for a break. She said again that she doesnt know if we are 100 percent compatible. That she doesnt know if that will be able to change. She said she doesn't want to break up. But she wants a break to detach herself from the relationship and gain a different prespective. We will be apart untilod january and at that point we will talk about what the problem is and see if we can work it out. I also asked her not to be with anyone during the break and she agreed. What usually happens in these situations? Is it a normal thing for a lesbian relationship? It's weird because she treats me so well and is very good to me. But I dont understand her problem. Please help me.
Most relatively new couples (as in, have been going out for a few months), whether they are lesbian or straight, have extra strain on their relationships around winter break. Even long term relationships are harder long-distance, so if you guys are just settling into your relationship, it can be truly frustrating for the dynamic of your relationship to shift so suddenly. Even small problems in the relationship seem a lot bigger when you can't really "kiss and make up" or hug, you know? Physical distance does that to everybody. It sounds like something is bothering her, and she hasn't made up her mind yet how to handle it, whatever it is. I'd say the most important thing for you to do is to communicate openly with her. Let her know you're willing to listen whenever she's ready to say something, and then if she's not ready to tell you what the problem is, don't take the silence personally. She may not even be able to articulate the problem to herself very well yet. Secondly, brace yourself for a break-up (by reminding yourself of all the good qualities you have as an individual, and that you'll be ok whatever happens), but don't be afraid to hope that it won't happen. Honestly, the chances are that after the physical distance goes away, she'll miss being with you and want to give you two another chance. I hope things work out!
