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Having a Secret Girlfriend/Boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Shinedown, Dec 18, 2014.

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  1. Shinedown

    Shinedown
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    My homophobic parents suspect I have a secret girlfriend. They're right. If they find out, they would disown me, and possibly hurt my girlfriend, which is what I am most afraid of. Because I am not yet 18 years of age, there isn't much that I can do about their actions. What can I do? How do you, or would you, keep your girlfriend or boyfriend a secret?

    Thank you so much for any responses.
     
    #1 Shinedown, Dec 18, 2014
  2. SquidwardT

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    No idea, if anyone has advice I would love it. I have a secret gf and I am starting to regret it cause the situation is stressing me out.
     
    #2 SquidwardT, Dec 18, 2014
  3. iiimee

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    Well, I have a partner right now who is not a secret to my parents... I'm going to tell my Godmother soon, maybe after New Year's. I think the best way to keep it a secret is to call them a friend, so you two can have secret dates, like saying you want to hang out with them at a place, when really to you guys it is a date... I am a good liar so this is my advice. Just make sure your partner is okay with this.
     
    #3 iiimee, Dec 18, 2014
  4. Aspen

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    I've been secretly dating a girl for over a year. I just call her a friend to anyone that can't know. It kills me, but it helps me to remember that it's just for now. What about her parents? Are they more accepting?
     
    #4 Aspen, Dec 18, 2014
  5. Shinedown

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    ---------- Post added 22nd Dec 2014 at 04:44 PM ----------

    [/COLOR]
    Her parents have known that she's bi, and are very accepting, thankfully.

    ---------- Post added 22nd Dec 2014 at 04:51 PM ----------
    I understand your stress :icon_sad: but please don't give up on her. Just because other people are too ignorant and unwilling to understand. It honestly isn't any of their business who we choose to love. Why, in any way, does it matter to them? They don't have to date your girlfriend, they don't have to have an orientation other than straight, so they honestly need to mind their own business.

    Sorry for the rant ^_^"
     
    #5 Shinedown, Dec 22, 2014
  6. Wildside

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    well, I would definitely continue to keep it a secret under those circumstances until I was 18 and ready to move out on my own. I know of cases where parents had thrown their kids out of the house, when the kids were not ready to be on their own. the results were pretty horrific. So me, personally, and IMHO, I would avoid giving them any more ammunition, and I would prepare to get out on my own and then I would live my life openly. I don't know our parents, so I am just basing my comments on what you say about them being so homophobic. but if there is any flexibility there with them that you haven't mentioned, then that would change my answer.
     
    #6 Wildside, Dec 22, 2014
  7. David21201

    David21201
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    Ugh...i know this all to well...

    My parents just found iut about me being a lesbian AND my gf who was staying with us at the time. She outed herself to my mother. Now we are "broken up". We are still a couple butnat my house we are "just friends"... I lost all of my privacy because of it...
     
    #7 David21201, Dec 22, 2014
  8. Aspen

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    That's good. My girlfriend's parents are very accepting too and I think it helps that we can be out when I go over to her house.

    I'm sorry that you don't feel safe in your own home. Be careful and wait until you're financially independent and moved out before you tell them.
     
    #8 Aspen, Dec 23, 2014
  9. Rap24

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    Our situation is sort of the same. I've been dating this girl for 10 months now and it's been a secret to out parents and other family members. It's been easy for us because we consider each other very good friends. So when we mention on another they think it's a friend thing.
     
    #9 Rap24, Dec 23, 2014
  10. Anomander

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    I have a boy friend who is a secret to my family. All of my friends and brother know but my parents just think he is a friend so I can empathize a bit. I too am worried my parents would disown me. The major difference between us however is I am 24 and almost completely independent while you are not.

    If you are dependent on your parents which I am assuming you are from your age, and truly believe harm would come to both you and or your girlfriend the best advice I can give you is deny deny deny. Yes its shitty to have to do so but your safety should be your number 1 priority.

    Without knowing the full situation I would also suggest you be careful spending time with her, instead of going to you house could you go to hers instead? Maybe meet up somewhere with a group of friends. I would try to avoid having her over to your house at least until things cool down a bit.

    For me I work in the city and live in the suburbs with my parents and my boyfriend lives in the city so were about an hour + apart. I simply stay down after work and train it on the weekends and tell my parents I have friends down there ect.

    Similar but very different situations I suppose. Hope it helps
     
    #10 Anomander, Dec 24, 2014
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