Am I to blind to see I'm being used?

Hey guys! my names A (I'd like to keep my name anon sorry D: )
and I'm in strong need of advice... so ill try and keep this as short and sweet as possible... Anyways (for privacy sake the name of the guy in question shall be called Jimmy )

I'm 20 years old and I'm gay and my very close best friend Jimmy is straight 19 anyways 4 years ago we shared a moment where we kissed and kept a strong level of closeness which went on for about 4 days? Suddenly he stopped and we spoke where he told me it wasn't for him and he wanted us to leave that at that... fair enough not everyone's gay! So I moved on! However that wasn't the end of that... 3 years later everything started up again of course being a lot older it wasn't just a simple kiss... now I'm not sure how much "detail" I can go into but for the past year now I've been giving ahem bjs to my friend and uh using my tongue in other areas (sorry for the information overload) anyways it's all very one sided always me dishing the pleasure and me leaving with nothing which I've gotten used too... now I unfortunately have grown a lot of feelings for Jimmy over the past 4 years and it's gotten to a stage where I feel like I can't break free... However Jimmy claims he's straight and has no attraction to guys yet we do this almost once every two weeks ... I feel like an idiot but I get jealous when he get girlfriends etc... but I can't help it he's just so sweet to me and treats me ways I've not been treated by anyone just makes me feel special you know? So I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from what's been going on and I'm in desperate need of advice... and after a years worth of "experimenting" surly he knows by now that he must have a slight attraction to guys right? Maybe that's just me wish fully thinking as usual haha...

Anyways I would appreciate any advice as I'm at a complete loss with myself and I feel kinda hurt :/ ... Thank you so much for taking the time to read this
A.