So, here's a long one. A few months ago I met this guy, M, through some mutual friends of ours. He was really cool and really nice and we had a lot in common, even some pretty emotional stuff. At this point it was common knowledge that I had a really strong preference toward women, so I'm sure he knew, but it wasn't a big deal. So, my friend J really liked my best friend C at this point, but M (who's J's best friend) ignored this and started flirting with her, and kissed her without her permission, essentially breaking any "bro code". So, after this, everyone was mad at M, but I stayed out of it because I'm sort of new to this group and I didn't want to form opinions just because others were. So I became friends with M, and we made a habit of cuddling whenever we saw each other. It got to the point where he said he wanted to kiss me, but I told him I couldn't. I had promised C that if he ever tried to do to me what he did to her, it wouldn't work. Except this was different. He said he was fine with it, but asked me again several times. Now, we had established that we both liked each other and I told him I was going to basically tell C and J about the whole thing so I wouldn't be breaking my promise, as stupid as that sou ds. However, the next day, he texted me asking for some advice on texting a girl he said he really liked. I was hurt because I thought we had the spark for something, but I somehow managed to ask him how he felt about me. He then said that he really liked me, but that he didn't want to get into something with me because he wants our friendship to last and doesn't want to lose me. I proceeded to tell him that it was fine and that I felt the same way (which is 3/4 true). I just feel stuck. I really value our friendship and I really don't want to screw this up and lose him, but he's also the first of a couple of people that I've actually had a chance with. I can't find a way to phrase my infatuation with him either. I miss him all the time and I miss his side pressed into mine, but it can't go anywhere for right now. I guess I'm just looking for some words of consolation...
Obvious he trying to make you his fling or friend with benefits, If you are looking for a serious relationship and aren't comfortable being his side chick or his plan b you should make it clear.
Hmmm.... I am sorry that you found yourself in this situation. Let me first commend you on holding to your principles and not allowing him to kiss you even though you really wanted him to. I've been in this cuddling situation many times before when I find myself swept up. As far as words of consultation go I can only say that at least he is an honest enough man to tell you that he doesn't want to screw your friendship up. He sounds like a good guy and if you are ok with just cuddling then I say keep going the way you are. If you are not excuse yourself from the situation and make sure to tell him why so that you don't accidentally hurt his feelings. Stay strong.
