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What would you think if this happened to you?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Pops21, Dec 22, 2014.

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  1. Pops21

    Pops21 Guest

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    I am openly lesbian at work and have a girlfriend. I am quite close to a married coworker (I will call her C). We all went out for a work party and she sat next to me all night; our bodies were touching side by side. At one point someone told a guy he was a bit effeminate at which point I jokingly said maybe I should butch up, being a lesbian. At this point C said she thought I was very pretty and that she found me sexy as I was the perfect mix of female and male and that if she wasn't married then she would go for me.

    I thought she was being nice but later when it was just me, C and another person, we were talking about relationships and C said she didn't know if she was gay or straight as she was brought up religiously so she was taught it was wrong but she believes it's about the person and not the gender. She then said again that if she wasn't married she would go for me.

    I kinda felt for a while she may like me, I find her behaviour confusing. What would you guys think to this?
     
    #1 Pops21, Dec 22, 2014
  2. shadowraptor

    shadowraptor
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    I have a straight friend that I had/have a massive crush on, and he's told me that if he was gay or if he wasn't with his gf he would go for me, he comments that he finds me very attractive and a good guy, he's even told me he's had dreams where the two of us are dating. I'd say our situations are mildly similar, although yours seems much more straightforward.

    I'd say she's into you. But if you want something from her, don't do anything until you're both ready to commit. She is obviously putting it out there that she isn't 100% straight, but she is still married and you have a girlfriend. I'd say just ride with it, see where it goes, and if you want something from her then confront her. And if it's making you uncomfortable then politely ask her to stop. But I wouldn't do anything to risk either of your relationships, unless that's what both of you want and are willing to commit to.
     
    #2 shadowraptor, Dec 22, 2014
  3. Pops21

    Pops21 Guest

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    Hi shadowraptor, thank you for your comment and being so nice about it- I was expecting some harsh replies. I am really confused but I was thinking if she wasn't into me it would be easier to deal with. It's been driving me crazy for ages and it's not something I'm used to. Again thanks for yor help and advice :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Pops21, Dec 22, 2014
  4. trailrider

    trailrider
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    I don't think that she is as into you, as she is the fact that you are gay. Of course I am basing ALL of this opinion on my own personal experiences.

    In reading between the lines of your story, this is what I heard her say;

    " I am married but right now it is not a good marriage because I am questioning my sexuality. I grew up in a religious environment that discouraged kids from exploring their feelings, so I have kept them bottled up. But I am about to burst. The more the world seems to accept alternate lifestyles, the more I want to find out who I really am. I know you and trust you, but most of all I know that you are gay, threrefore I want to talk to YOU about this. But I'm going to make jokes about it because I am scared. I am scared of you making fun of me. I am scared of anyone else finding out and I am scared of the road that I know I am about to walk down. I threw those teasers out there because I want the conversation to begin but I don't know how to start it. "

    Again, these are just my opinions. I could be completely wrong.
     
    #4 trailrider, Dec 22, 2014
  5. sldanlm

    sldanlm
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    Why would you be expecting harsh replies? It's not your fault that she has an attraction to you.
     
    #5 sldanlm, Dec 22, 2014
  6. Pops21

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    That's interesting you say that trailrider as she is the one that brings up lesbians in our conversation. She once said that she would never go into lesbian territory and yet as I mentioned, she said she didn't know what she was. Maybe confused a you say. She is very touchy feely with me though but again could be curious about herself.

    Sldanlm, I posted somewhere else and they annihilated me as if I had planned to like this woman or something.
     
    #6 Pops21, Dec 22, 2014
  7. shadowraptor

    shadowraptor
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    Even if you did end up liking her that's no reason for someone to bash you! You can't choose who you fall in love with, and honestly I'd say even if you did like her then it would be justified, considering how forward she seems to be. Good thing you came here, then! :wink:

    I think reading between the lines a bit more, trailrider has a point. She may be scared of acknowledging or accepting that she in anything other than straight, which isn't too far off from the truth if what you've told us is true. I think perhaps both of you could benefit from some kind of talk along the way.
     
    #7 shadowraptor, Dec 22, 2014
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