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Writing to myself - it helps!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chickzak, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. Chickzak

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    You seem to do it all the time to yourself and at the end of the day, who gets hurt.. none other than yourself. There are some parts where I wish I could change about myself, mentally I mean. I wish I could change some parts of my personality. I wish I wasn't so open to other, honest and friendly. I wish I couldn't see the good in others but rather wish I had trust issues with people. This will mean I would get less hurt.

    It's strange because I'm incredibly reserved. When meeting people for the first time, though I do make effort to talk to others, its usually people talking to me to get me to engage in conversation. And you know, after getting to know them and seeing them more often, I get talkative and I come out of my shell. But I wish I could control how friendly I get. Don't get me wrong, I've never found myself in trouble with getting too friendly with others and it's never reached a point where its uncomfortable or anything.. its just people tend to take advantage or my good nature sometimes and use what I've said against me.

    And you'd think after the couple of back stabs, I'd grow stronger and realise my mistakes, but its always the same. When meeting people, I'll think, 'okay, it's important that I build a relationship with this family because I will be have to see them often, but do not, I repeat do not, make more conversation with them than you need to. Stay within your limits or else you'll get too comfortable with that relationship and it'll be used against me'. *Sigh* Only I understand what I'm talking about because I've been there too many times.

    :bang:
     
  2. jay777

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    Its ok to be nice and open...

    You might look for the right people... not thinking its important to build a relationship but to be there because you like each other...

    sometimes others are just jealous... I'd stay away from those, there are well meaning people... and if they also get a bit mean spirited its usually possible to just laugh it off, to get on the right track again...


    (*hug*)
     
  3. Sek

    Sek
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    I agree that writing to yourself helps. Whenever I'm sad, I ask myself questions like "What's making you upset?" "Are there things you need to add/remove to your life to make yourself happier?" "What can you do to change this?", etc. and I write the answers beneath the questions. :slight_smile:

    I want you to know that I understand how you feel!! I'm someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and I'm very open and vulnerable. The benefit of this is that I can enjoy deep and genuine relationships with people which are great and fulfilling, but I leave myself open to being taken advantage of, hurt, etc.

    However, every bad relationship has taught me something. It's helpful to gain closure by asking yourself what you learned from a negative experience. Without those experiences we don't grow as people; they teach us valuable lessons.

    Don't hide/change yourself because of these experiences. Instead, grow and learn from them. Keep your relationships expectation-free, just 'go with the flow' and do what's naturally comfortable to you.

    I hope what I've said has been somewhat helpful or comforting to you. I'll end this post with a quote from Babe Ruth: "never let the fear of striking out stop you from playing the game".