You guessed it; crush on friend and in need of advice!

Ok, here goes: It's the age-old problem again, crushing on a presumably straight friend :bang:

So of course there is this girl, I've known her for about a year and we work in the same company, but in different states. We met at a seminar and I guess I instantly developed a small crush on her. She is cute, funny, smart, easy to talk to and basically all the other stuff that leads to people having crushes. Probably to no ones surprise here, she appears to be straight, but I guess so do I. We're in our late 20s and early 30s, and this whole thing makes me feel super childish, all the analyzing and processing, it feels like a high school crush all over again.

At the time we met I had a thing with another colleague, and while drunk I kinda ended up telling him that I had a small chrush on her. He teased me about it, though only in a funny and not at all offensive way, but he ended up also telling her about my crush. This happened at another seminar we attended, and I got super angry with him for telling her. It all happened when we were pretty drunk and I wasn't there when he told her. Well, woke up next morning with a lot of angst! She acted really cool though, seemingly not bothered about it at all and just telling me no worries when I said it was one of my most angsty days ever.

We always hang out when we are in the same town and keep in touch with calls and txts. I really like hanging out with her and we usually end up drunk. She is of course, needless to say, quite the touchy feely person both when sober and after drinking...so not helping with my crush!

Sometimes I feel like she is sending out really mixed signals, but I'm probably just over analyzing stuff to trick me into feeling there is hope haha. I mean we talk about hot guys and if we are dating anyone and that kind of stuff. She isn't dating for the time being, while I'm a hot mess hooking up with different guys all the time, once also when hanging out with her. Why am I doing that you ask, well my friend has a theory that I do it to make me stop thinking about her, and that is kinda true. When she asks me if I'm dating anyone I really want to tell her that I just want her! But it also begs the question if she is all oblivous to the fact that I have a major crush on her, like maybe she thought it was a joke when our colleague told her about me. I don't think I have really hidden it, though I haven't ever brought it up again in clear text either. I'm not the best when it comes to flirting with girls, seems like my charm mostly works on guys :bang: :help:, but with her I at least try to be a little flirty. I think I act and say half flirty things all the time when around her, I become quite touchy feely after a few glasses myself and I buy her drinks! What else can I do :dry: ?!

And where are all the mixed signals? Well, one time when we were out she said she wanted to have a threesome with the guy we were hanging with and kissed me. They were both super drunk when it got down to it and I ended up making out with him while she feel asleep...yeah. :eusa_doh: There's also all the other usual stuff, being a bit flirty, telling me and others that we should just share a room at work events so the company can save the money, and blabla, I'm too tired to write it all down and there is so not any structure to this post anymore. :sleep:

I have a crush on this girl and I have no clue what to do!