Hey, EC... So at the end of this past August I met a guy who goes to the same university as me. We hung out a few times a week, and then that turned into every weekend, and then at times just every other weekend. We'd usually do normal "date" stuff when we did hang out, and then I started to develop some feelings for him after we hooked up a few times, even though we're both pretty different people. But I'm quite sure he didn't feel the same. It was usually me that initiated conversations with him (and making an effort to try to keep them going) or asked if he wanted to hang out, and we have gone a week or sometimes longer without talking unless I text him first. I also almost always paid whenever we did stuff, and I told him multiple times through text messages that I really liked him. And I always tried to make time to be with him, no matter how busy I was. I mean, I was working 50 hours a week toward the end of the campaign I was working on while taking classes full-time. Yet, I still tried to make time to hang out with him, and he would tell me he was busy with schoolwork or that he was hanging out with roommates, which is why he wasn't texting or trying to spend time with me. In other words, I made it pretty clear to him that I was interested in him, and he never really did the same, at least not as much as me. At the end of the semester, he texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out before he left for break. We had some drinks at my place and while drunk he said something along the lines of, "I think ... I'm starting to fall for you, but I suck at relationships. Don't listen to me right now." So yeah, I'm going to guess he didn't mean that and was just drunk. The next day I texted him and told him I missed him, and he said the same. That was two weeks ago and he hasn't made an attempt to talk to me since then. I like him, but I'm almost certain he doesn't like me as much as I like him as I said, which I'm OK with. I can't force anyone to like me and I get that. And when we have hung out the last few times, it's pretty much just been us hooking up/messing around and then not talking to each other until we hang out again. I'm going to be moving to Washington, D.C. to work on Capitol Hill at the end of January, and I obviously won't be hanging out with him much once I move. In fact, I probably will only be back in Pennsylvania maybe a couple times before May for graduation. I don't know if I should just cut communication off with him completely before I leave or talk to him if he contacts me first. We're friends on Facebook, but I just changed my number a couple days ago and don't know if I should give him my new number. What would you do? Would you stop talking to him or try to stay friends?
Maybe he's just new to all of this stuff, it's awesome that you're so cool about all of this! But it's up to you to decide when to totally forget about him. You seem to be putting so much effort into making this all work, and yet he's slacking. It's all up to you However, leave your new number with him, who knows, maybe one day he'll realize that he's missing out on life by not being with you... no harm done if you leave your number. Good luck!
It sounds like you have been doing most of the running Mike - perhaps too much running at times. When you move to Washington you're not going to be able to sustain it. If he is prepared to meet you half way with the communication it might be different, but you can't do it all. Then again, if things have more recently been about hooking up/messing around, you might want to ask yourself if that's enough to justify the ongoing effort and commitment. It's up to you really. If you stop doing the running what do you think will happen?
No, it's not. Sex is fun and all, but it's not worth that, either. Hookups just aren't my thing. As for your last question, I think he's already shown he's usually not interested in putting in much effort in contacting me if I don't contact him first. It's been like two weeks since we talked because I haven't texted him. So yeah, I'm leaning toward not even bothering giving him my number. ---------- Post added 27th Dec 2014 at 01:20 PM ---------- Well, he's a little more experienced than me with guys. In fact, a couple days before the semester started the first guy he hung out with when he got here was one of my good friends who's apparently bisexual! They hung out just once and then my friend never talked to him again because he's deep in the closet. Pretty awkward.
