Theres this boy I have 1st and 2nd hour with at school. Ive sorta got a crush on him, but im keeping it as supressed as possible because i dont know whether or not hes gay. I dont know how to find out. Ive checked his facebook and there arent any "flags" and its hard to tell from his personality. I like him alot and admittedly, i sorta check him out a bit in 1st hour(he sits right infront of me). Sometimes in 2nd hour he'll end up looking at me and when i notice he doesnt look away until about 10 seconds after I look back. I dont know what that means and frankly it confuses the living hell outta me. I dont want to ask, im afraid of what he'll say. How can I go about finding out? Thanks
Are you out? If you are, maybe you could ask him, "If you were gay, would you go out with me?" Do it privately so he has a chance to answer without outing himself if he doesn't want to but also where people can see you just in case he reacts badly and you need help.
Im out to everyone but my family and anyone who'd tell my family. At thr moment we don't have a close enough relationship that he nor i would feel comfortable asking that, i guarantee it :E
How well do you know this boy? Do you talk? Are you friends? Becoming close friends is the first step getting through this. If he's straight, at least you'll have made a friend, hopefully Just try to strike up a conversation. Maybe you have something in common. Or maybe you can ask him with help studying. let us know how it goes
This actually just may work We had a little conversation at one point about Catcher in the Rye, maybe I could talk with him about that and befriend him.
When you do get to develop a friendship, make sure he knows as soon as possible that you are gay, this will determine whether he is comfortable with that, you needn't tell him more until you feel comfortable asking; and this is how you ask: "Do you date guys?" Use these exact words. The question does not threaten his conception of himself, nor does it necessarily imply that you would like to date him, it only addresses what he does and it is as neutral as possible.
If I were in your position I know that I would befriend him and get closer to him and then kind of try to slip him hints every now and then that might suggest "hey, I like you, you're attractive" but that's just me. Except I'm shy so I might not even get that far. But the advice given so far from other posts I agree with for the most part. Get to know him better, find common ground. Maybe just sit him down after you get to know him well enough and just say something along the lines of "hey, I've gotten to know you better and I'm glad we've become such good friends, but there's something I need to tell you..." and proceed from there. Just do it privately and don't make a huge scene if he rejects you, but if you two are friends when you tell him, I'm sure he won't say anything to deliberately hurt you. I f he does, he's not worth your time. good luck to you. Keep us updated on your progress!
This story is so much like mine, please keep us updated! I would just bring up LGBT+ rights with him whilst you two are alone, and casually ask "out of curiosity, are you gay?" or something along those lines.
Only if you genuinely love and care for this person, then you may ask it, though, he may not answer truthfully. If you want to be loved by him, then you may tell, that he is homosexual yourself, if he acts differently around you, stares at you and mimicks your gestures.
Until you get to the point of feeling comfortable bringing up sexual orientation with him, spending time with him will help you notice if he checks out girls, other guys, or what.
It was all a blow. He's straight, and spent 45 minutes trying to prove it. We agreed to meet up at the mall and once we were there after about a half hour i just casually asked. He sorta freaked out about how straight he was and ended up taking me downtown to some grimy looking strip club. I wasnt comfortable, so i left. He started texting me after that. It was pretty much a dozen messages about how much hes into women.
I don't know about you but, taking 45 minutes to prove someone you are straight seems very exaggerated, but that might just be me. I mean, if you are so confident of what you are a simple "no, I'm not gay" is enough, why go to the trouble of proving it, and for 45 minutes at that. Look, I might be completely off here, but if he's going to so much trouble of doing that, then he's not really that sure of his sexuality. Look, if you were straight and someone asked you if you were gay and you are confident enough of your sexuality, don't you think a simple answer would suffice? I'll leave you with that, think about it. Now, whatever your conclusion, take his word even if you completely doubt it, if he's not straight, and you become friends, he'll most likely tell you some day.
