Getting them back

So my lovely genderqueer/trans* partner broke up with me because of me saying "lad". Saying that I was insensitive to them and their transformation. To pull it back earlier last month, we would always fight over their identity and place in the world and how thin-skinned they were because of not being accepted into the trans* community and not enough confidence to be who they express to be. I tried asking a few of my bi friends, gay friends, and one transfeminine friend on how to approach this with a better perspective. They kept telling me, "Ew, because you're straight and you expect to have kids in the future, how will that work?" or, "I think they're going through a phase, they're not trans at all!" or, "they're confused". I didn't have any leads on how to approach the relationship with the best of intentions without all of that negativity that was told to me on how this wouldn't work out. I was also under the influence one time and did mean things to them, which I didn't mean to do, like harshly questioning why they wanted to be transgender. I grew up with the thought that gay people drove away normal people and that they were "disgusting" and not natural to our society. I unfortunately projected what I was grown with onto them, and for 2 1/2 months they had to deal with me trying to grow, but also not knowing they're the first genderqueer person I knew. I tried so hard to work it out, but I slipped and it blew up on me. They said that we can "possibly" get back together, but we needed to heal and grow. I am so much in love with them, I just want them back as if we're dating again. I just want guidance on how to make this relationship better. I've already decided I wanted to get counseling done as well to get a better love and respect for them and have no doubt. What can I do?