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"emotional detachment"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Fimo, Jan 1, 2015.

  1. Fimo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2014
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    Location:
    Somewhere over the Rainbow
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'm feeling like shit right now and I seriously need help to feel better.

    So I had my first girlfriend two weeks ago.
    I see her everyday because she is in my class and we used to talk a lot for the past month. She talked to me every evening after class and used to stare at me all the time and she smiled when I stared back.

    Everything should be fine right ?

    Well it's not ...

    I never felt her really emotionally involved in her texts or the way she was with me. She was usually teasing me ...
    But I didn't really care at the beginning because we kept having great talks, and that was enough for me. I asked her if she wanted to see me during the holidays, but she always said she wanted to but didn't know because she had to ask her parents. She always said "i'll let you know", but i never had news. So i asked again and same thing happened.

    Then, since Saturday she started being more and more distant. She didn't engage the conversation anymore, and she was cold in the way she replied.
    So, on Tuesday, i sent her a text saying that I was worried because i felt that she was cold and distant with me and i didn't know if it was my fault or if something was going on ...
    She took 6h to reply, and here's what she said:
    "I'm sorry you're getting involved in all of this ...
    It's just that there's this barrier holding me down or something and i'm just confused and idk
    I genuinely like you
    But this past year i've been figuring out smth about myself
    And I kinda had a bf who fucked me over too
    So none of this is your fault, in fact you're a great person
    You could call it emotional detachment"
    And then she gave me a link to a tumblr post summing up the whole thing.

    I replied saying that it was ok, that i could wait, that i wont fuck her over, that i really liked her ...

    But she never replied.

    I sent her a Happy New Year text but she didn't reply either.

    Now I just sent her a snapchat because I saw that she saw my snaps from yesterday.
    I know I might be annoying, but i'm confused too, and i literally have no idea how to deal with all my emotions, and also the fact that she is not answering and i don't know if she is ignoring me, if i did something wrong ... I don't know

    And it's getting me depressed and it's awful. I cried for an entire hour before writing this.

    I know i over react often, but here ... it's like too much !!

    Now there's a mix of anger and sadness at the same time and i can't deal with it. This year is starting so well ...

    Anyway Happy new year to all !
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2014
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Happy new year to you, too

    (*hug*)

    Well you could really talk to her about this...
    that you do not intend to hurt her, that you can communicate and maybe that you could take it slow...
    build a friendship and take it from there...
    and that there are inherently risks in life, but if both are well meaning and ready to communicate and are ready to work on a partnership you can have a good time...

    if she feels she needs professional help she might think about counseling...

    sending you hugs...


    (*hug*)