So, I was messaging my best (straight?) friend in the world, we'll call him J for this. So, J and I were talking (he knows I'm gay) about love. He's currently in a relationship with a girl, and it's very solid. He had been saying that (if he was single) for him to consider going out with a girl he'd have to feel a connection with her immediately, and how she'd have to be perfect if he was going to try and start a relationship with her. He then said, and I quote: I responded that I didn't know, because I 'don't get on with women's anatomy', to which he replied, and I quote: What does this mean? Does this make him Bi, Pan? His list of criteria for a girl, are actually the same as his list of criteria for a guy. Gender is not a criterion. I'm never going to be in a relationship with him, and I'm almost sure I don't want to be, but this was just playing on my mind, wondering what it meant. Any help would be appreciated!
I'd call him an example of why labels sometimes suck. Being open to dating and having sex with someone of the same gender as well as the opposite gender would probably be labelled as bi, but it's also possible he's "straight with an exception he hasn't yet met and maybe never will." He just sounds very open-minded. He may have never been seriously attracted to a guy, but isn't completely opposed to the idea. I'd call him straight because he identifies as such, and he's probably also a very good ally. I think he sounds pretty cool. I also don't think you can choose a label for him that will fit him better than the one he likes for himself. Just my two cents.
I see what you mean. He either is very open minded, or he's bi. But yes, if he indentifies as straight, then he's straight I guess. Thanks for your input! (*hug*) And he is pretty cool. :icon_wink
Even though I identify as gay, I think on similar lines to your friend. I would never set in stone that a girl might enter into my life and sweep me off my feet. I find it unlikely as I've never found a girl attractive in that way but I'm open minded about it. My straight friends feel the same way about their own gender. I don't think it's that uncommon and doesn't necessarily mean he should identify as a different label. If that makes sense?
You do? Oh, interesting. I thought something similar tbh. I mean he identifies as heterosexual, as he says, so he must consider himself straight. Perhaps he's straight, but gender is not something that would necessarily define whether he was attracted to a person? I see what you mean... Perhaps he's just open minded. BUT, what I found interesting was that the traits he looks for in a girl, are the same traits as in a guy, which is why I thought perhaps bi/pan? I mean he basically said that if the person was 'perfect', it wouldn't matter whether they were male or female. I think I'm probably reading into it a bit far, but he definitely hints at it, and obviously that would make him bi/pan, but I think you may be right. He may just be saying 'never say never', and that if he did find a guy attractive, he would be open to a relationship.
It is quite simple really. Would he get a boner if he saw a 'perfect' guy as he would when he saw a 'perfect' girl?
That's interesting... I'm not sure! I mean the whole conversation stemmed from me saying I don't think I could be with a girl because I wouldn't want to have sex with her, so I think he is kinda implying that he would have sex with a man if he was 'perfect', so perhaps yes?
