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I have a crush on my best friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jameslover, Jan 3, 2015.

  1. jameslover

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    We've been friends since middle school, and are very close.
    Our relationship sometimes gets very close to gay. He once rested his head on my shoulder, strokes my hair, etc, etc. I often return the favors; once, I managed to out my arm around his torso and he didn't back away or anything. But I'm still not sure if he's gay or straight, or even questioning. Occasionally, it seems like he breaks out of a stupor and tells me to get my hands off him or something like that, often in a light tone.
    It escalated recently with a sleepover at my house. Throughout much of it, we were in contact in some manner. For example, while we were watching something, I started rubbing my hand against his arm and later did the same, just with the foot and leg. Later, he got into an extremely plush bathrobe, giving me a good excuse to basically starts stroking his back, arms and legs. It got even better when we went to bed. Due to space constraints, we shared a sofa-bed, while my other friend slept on the floor. During the night, it was exhilarating. I got the closest I have ever been to a non-relative. His lips were literally inches away from mine. Apparently, he was asleep almost the entire night, meaning he was pretty darn restless. At one point, I was holding his hand and stroking his leg with my foot.
    When we woke up in the morning, he didn't seem to remember any of it. My question is this: is he gay/questioning? Was I right to possibly have taken advantage of him that night, even if I didn't know he was asleep?
    Btw, we're both 15 and neither of us has ever had a girlfriend (though we both said we had crushes).
     
  2. 0Marionette0

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    Awww this is so sweet! I can't really determine whether he's gay or not. But I don't believe he's completely straight if he lets you do things like that on occasions...especially if he knows you're gay. But based on how this sounds, I think there is a great chance he feels the same way about you as you feel about him. I'm not saying you should do this now, but eventually, if you still end up having feelings for him, confess to him. Let him know how you feel, and that even if he doesn't like you back, that you'd still want to be friends. Also, I don't think it's completely wrong to have done that to him overnight. I mean, yes, it was a little uncalled for, but the heart wants what the heart wants...it can't be helped, so don't worry about it. Good luck with your friend. I hope it works out. Heheh
     
  3. Composerbpc

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    This is adorable, I have a straight friend that I totally wish we had that type of relationship that you described. Well I'd venture to say he's quite fond of you and I bet if you asked him if he like you, he wouldn't admit it at first but I personally think he probably does. I mean unless he was drunk I don't think he would've let you touch him like that and he wouldn't reciprocate either. Although it's a slippery slope, because some straight guys are actually like that, they just touchy feely, yet completely straight. So I can't say if he's gay or not. Maybe talk to him about it if the touching and closeness increases even more. Good luck to you and I'm still a little bit jealous haha.
     
  4. jameslover

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    Thanks to you both so much, this means quite a lot to me. Since we're at seperate schools now, we don't get to meet up that often, but I'm meeting him Monday since I have school off. Wish me luck. :slight_smile:
     
  5. 0Marionette0

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    Good luck!
     
  6. jameslover

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    Well, I tried to meet with him, but he had track. :frowning2: But I've arranged a time Friday when he doesn't have track so I can talk to him.
    I'm kinda worried about what I should talk about. Should I tell him that I think he might be at least a little bit gay/questioning? Or should I tell him about my own feelings for him?
     
  7. 0Marionette0

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    Hmm, maybe if something romantic starts going on like before, tell him things that would hint to your own feelings for him. If that fails and he doesn't understand, come out to him maybe. Then that way if he is either gay or bi, he may reveal himself to you. Say, if he starts touching you again, say something like:"hey, just to warn you, I'm gay." Or something casual like that. :icon_wink just saying, what's going on with you two is absolutely adorable!
     
  8. IG88

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    Sorry, don't hold your breath :/ he seems like a regular straight teen to me.

    If you do want to tell him you like him...start with coming out to him first w/o mentioning that you like him. That first bit of news needs to digest first.
     
  9. WhiteShadows

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    I would recommend coming out to him or hinting/telling him that you like him :slight_smile:
     
  10. indiqo

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    I think you should tell your friend about your sexuality, if you feel able to. if he is questioning or non-straight then it may give him confidence to confide in you, even if he sees you only as a friend. unfortunately it's impossible to know -n-

    I think it was a little bit inappropriate do that when he was sleeping, since he wasn't awake to set any boundary. I think maybe don't do that again in the future to anyone! ^.^
     
  11. jameslover

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    I have already told him I'm gay, so that shouldn't be hard.
     
  12. Either he must be a heavy sleeper, he has more than best friend feeling for you, or is a straight guy. If you insist on confronting him start slowly and calmly,"Hey can we talk, lately I've noticed we've gotten more physical lately. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" One of my friends is also feely, but they are the straightist person I know. Good luck.
     
  13. bookreader

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    So if you told him, then it shouldn't be a problem to tell him you like him. But, be prepared to face rejection. Remember that it does get better and you'll find someone who likes you for who you are.
     
  14. 0Marionette0

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    Oh? And how did he respond to that?
     
  15. jameslover

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    Thanks both of you. :slight_smile: I am most certainly taking this advice. I'm honestly really scared of Friday, but genuinely super excited as well.
    He responded with a basic "oh" and then he thanked me for considering him such a good friend to tell him that. From then, we haven't really talked about it that much.
     
  16. 0Marionette0

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    Ah I see. So it went fairly well. Have you guys hung out lately?
     
  17. jameslover

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    Not since the sleepover, which was last Friday.
     
  18. 0Marionette0

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    Oh, then you guys should! Then maybe while you're alone together, you can tell him how you feel(maybe when he gets feely again though so it relates to what's happening)
     
  19. indiqo

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    if he knows you are gay and he behaves like this with you, I think it's either just that he's an affectionate person or he has some kind of feeling toward you too. I'm just basing this on the stereotypical straight male.. they wouldn't usually behave in such a way with a gay friend, simply because most assume when you are gay you like every person who is the same sex -_-

    oh and I misread, I didn't notice you said you weren't aware he was asleep. so I don't think you should feel at all bad for doing what you did if you thought he was awake. but maybe next time you should check :grin:
     
  20. jameslover

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    Yeah, I'm setting up something for next week.
    The thing is, I've noticed he doesn't do this with any other friends. I'm the only one who he does this to.

    Update: I got to see him today after school. He was as attractive as always, but I didn't get enough of an opportunity because he basically had to leave right away. But I did manage to tell him (and another friend who was there as well) about Empty Closets, and I was able to test his reactions to homosexuality again: basically the same, nonchalant sort of "I'm fine with it" reaction.
    I'm setting up something for next week, where I can actually have some time to talk to him alone.
    I'm also considering telling my other best friend that I have a crush on James. He definitely knows I'm gay as well (he actually thought Empty Closets was a cleaning forum at first! :eusa_doh:slight_smile:. Do you think I should?