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parents "not allowing me" to be lesbian!!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Bella B, Jan 3, 2015.

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  1. Bella B

    Bella B
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    I came out to my parents recently, because we had decided to stay home for new years eve, and it was the perfect moment to tell them. my mom's reactions:
    "you just havent been loved by a guy"
    "you need to date both guys and girls before deciding" (I have not been in a relationship with either)
    " you are just bored and you wanted to think of something for attention"
    and other things like that which I wont bore you with. the main thing is, she told me that to save our relationship with my family, I "can not be lesbian until I'm 18" I have no clue what to do, because she said that if my school found out, she would start a huge scandal, and we would move across the country(that isnt an empty threat), and It isnt really something you can turn off for a few years...
    I'm currently talking to this girl I know, and she is lesbian, and I really like her, and would hate to cut things off with her. what do I do??:bang:
     
    #1 Bella B, Jan 3, 2015
  2. sulfuricbananna

    sulfuricbananna
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    Do what my backup plan was if my coming out went south:
    Tell them that this is who you are and they can't change you. You're you, and that's amazing. Tell them that they can take everything from you and that you'll still be you, and that they just have to accept you. Based on what your mom said, it sounds like it will take more convincing things to say than that. Maybe throw in, "I have a personal bubble like everyone else and you're not going to invade that. My sexual orientation is most certainly a part of that bubble, and no matter what you say, what you do, this is the part of me that you'll never take away from me. You can take away everything I have and it won't make me go straight. This is who I am." Or something along the lines of that. Sorry if that's mega detailed, but that's just what my plan B was.
     
    #2 sulfuricbananna, Jan 3, 2015
  3. ForNarnia

    ForNarnia
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    Is there any trusted family member you could confide in who would take you in? That way, you could tell your parents that if they leave, you'll stay with them, and that your sexual orientation is none of their concern. They don't have to approve of who you are, they just have to accept that it is your decision and they have no right to try and change you. Hang in there, things will get better.
     
    #3 ForNarnia, Jan 3, 2015
  4. CrazyAwkward

    CrazyAwkward
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    It sounds like your mom just doesn't understand what it means to be gay/lesbian. It's not a choice or something you can turn on and off, no matter how old or young you are. I know that can be hard to explain, especially when emotions are running high and she clearly thinks you are "too young" to understand these things yourself. You could try directing her to PFLAG. I'm sure their website must have a FAQ sections to help parents understand and come to terms with things. Maybe that will help.
     
    #4 CrazyAwkward, Jan 3, 2015
  5. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    It seems like your mom is way too concerned with what others think than being there for you . If I were you I'd find a trusted lgbt center or lgbt group at your school that you can talk to .
    Sorry about parents being so close minded (*hug*)
     
    #5 stocking, Jan 3, 2015
  6. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    Lol. Your parents obviously don't understand that it's not a decision. Be true to yourself and don't let them tell you who to be and what to do. It's your life not theirs, so enjoy it and do what makes you happy. If you really like this girl and she makes you happy, be with her! Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #6 EpicConfusion, Jan 4, 2015
  7. TacobellKFC

    TacobellKFC
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    I hate when parents give ultimatums and threats its very destructive trust me I know....be who U are and be careful
     
    #7 TacobellKFC, Jan 4, 2015
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