So basically in high school I really didn't take care of my body the way I should have and was a bit fat. Lost the weight, fine now. But I have stretch marks on my inner thighs and a few that are faded on my lower sides. I also self harmed for four years so I have scarring on my thighs and my upper arm. I'm dating a girl, the first girl I ever have, and I'm just really nervous about showing her my body to be honest. I don't want to freak her out. So, are stretch marks a turn off? And is the scarring as well?
The stretch marks i can deal with, I have them where my shoulders and arms meet from building muscle too fast, but she might think of you as a weirdo with the scars.
I feel as though a decent amount of people have stretch marks? That doesn't bother me. However, the scars could be a turn off. Really, it comes down to who the person is. Everyone is different. Also, welcome to the site!
Sweetie, all I want in my partner physically is for them to have nice legs and a nice butt. If they have scars, all that means is they've been to battle. :3 I like another warrior in my life. <3 Your post is the first one she's ever read on this site. And that's the most supportive thing you can come up with to say? "She might think of you as a weirdo with the scars." Are you kidding me?
I don't think it would be a problem--I will say though that with the scarring I would probably want to know what it was from. If you were willing to share I would be concerned to find out if you felt like you were in a better place now. If you feel like you are I think the "issue" would end there.
The scars my bae has on his arm just make me cry, wishing I could have known him, and been there for him. They are not ugly in the least. A server at one place I go to has severe self-harm scars, I don't see them as ugly at all.
Neither would be a turn off for me, but I would want to know why the scars. I think women are way too self critical about their bodies.
Stretch marks are a non issue, although I am a tad self conscious of mine. The scars would only be a BIT of an issue for me if you refused to tell me what they are from, I would be worried.
That wouldn't be a problem for me at all But I would probably ask you at some point, why you have those scars... And I would be happy that you would trust me enough to talk about it.
As others have said, when you find the right person they won't care about the marks on your body as long as you can be open and honest about their origin. I have self harm scars on one arm and I wear them with pride now - they are a reminder of much darker places and times and the things that happened to me then. Anyone who doesn't like them is welcome to fong off
I agree with Pret Allez, what you said was a jerk move, whether you intended it that way or not. As for kgordon96's question, I think that if someone truly loves you, they won't care about any scars or marks that you have. Anyone who would be turned off by that and couldn't look past it, is shallow and not worth your time. You deserve someone better than that. Plus, like Pret Allez was saying, any stuff like that are pretty much just battle scars, in my opinion at least. Most people if not everyone has or eventually gets some sort of battle scars, either physically or mentally. Honestly, you shouldn't worry about that or be ashamed of it. Be proud of who you are and your body, and like I said, if that is a problem for someone, then they aren't worth your time and they aren't right for you, and you can do better. So you shouldn't worry about it. ---------- Post added 5th Jan 2015 at 05:27 PM ---------- I also agree with this, regarding the scars.
Yeah if a person truely loves you it won't matter. Only a shallow person would care. My boyfriend has severe acne all over. Some people might think of that as a turn off. But I don't care about it. I have flaws too. Everyone has some flaw. No one is perfect, even people who think they are, newsflash: they are not perfect. You just have to take the chance. And hopefully it won't be an issue for her. And if it is an issue, than she isn't worth it. Chin up!
this was kind of blunt huhu >.< but I think the intentions were pure. some people could react negatively depending on how well they know you and how informed they are about self-harm. some people are unaware, but become understanding. others are just ignorant, and will remain so. don't hate yourself for it if she is one of those people, (*hug*) even if I've self-harmed lots and understand the problem, I would be so so upset if my girlfriend self-harmed. I'd be scared for her safety. and I would be sad that she was sad, I know there's nothing you can do to help during those times. it would hurt me to know she's in pain and I would feel useless there is no way to help. but I would never find it ugly. good luck.
