It's very difficult for me to make friends, and it always has been as far as I remember. I've always had friends except at one point in my life where I got bullied really, really bad emotionally. I only have three friends right now. I really need people to support me and that I can talk about personal stuff with, but I can't with any of my current friends. One is a cool guy who's catholic, and he's accepting of me, but he's so nonjudgemental that he doesn't offer any support or anything when I tell him personal stuff. One is a really strange dude who's bisexual but super socially awkward and when I tried to talk about the challenges of my sexuality he got really quiet and didn't say anything. My other friend is my best friend and I've known him since he was born, but I can't tell him about being gay because he's a very conservative christian and his controlling parents would not allow us to be friends. I want to share my views and opinions with him, but I can't and I hate having to tiptoe around him and watch everything I say. He doesn't even know I'm not a christian and I haven't been a christian since I was 10 years old (seven years). So basically, I need to make friends, but it's hard for me because when I look around at people I know (for example the teen center I go to) I find them extremely immature and most of the time they are disgusting jerks and perverts. I don't go to school right now I'm homeschooled, so that's basically the only place I could meet friends. I would like to make friends that are girls, but it's the same issue. I'm just ashamed to be assosciated with people my age because all the people I know are mostly idiots. I feel bad for saying that, but it's true. I feel bad to have such high standards. One reason I can't make friends is because I spend too much time alone in my room playing videogames because that's easier than making friends and being around people. (Sad I know) How can I make friends who are like me? Do I need to lower my standards? How do i make friends who are girls? I'm afraid if I try to be friends with girls they assume I'm straight and will think I'm hitting on them and ignore me because I'm not flamboyantly gay or femme. What are some good ways to approch people and be friendly? I appreciate anyone who spent the time to read this and offer me some advice.
You might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/149346-where-can-i-meet-lgbtq-people.html#4 (*hug*)
I'm just like you, but I watch TV shows instead of playing videogames. Anyway I don't think you need to lower your standards. If you're not comfortable with someone, don't spend time with them. And about making friends with girls I think you should go for it. Ask your friends to introduce you to someone new and don't be afraid of them assuming you want to hit on them, there are girls who enjoy being friends with guys a lot! I am one of them so if you ever need to talk about anything, I'm here!
What sort of standards would those be that so few people you have met can match them? And do you live up to the same standards that you hold others too? Not to be trying to put in a sideways remark or anything, but sitting in front of the TV playing video games does not sound particularly challenging (unless you are playing Dark Souls) or requiring of high standards. Perhaps simply finding people to game together with would be a good start. They don't need to have read Don Quixote or have dialectic debates about the nature of reality with you to enjoy playing some video games. And you never know, you may meet some people that way who know other people who are more down your alley in other aspects. The most important part is putting yourself out there.
I do try to live up to those standards as well as I can. I don't really know how to explain them really. Playing videogames isn't a standard of mine. The catholic and the christian friend of mine game with me sometimes but they are very busy most of the time. I suppose I should just "put myself out there" as you say because I feel like I might be distancing myself from people on purpose. There's just the problem of find places to meet new people. ---------- Post added 5th Jan 2015 at 08:39 PM ---------- Thanks Claudian My bisexual friend knows some cool girls that I would probably get along with, but I never see them since I don't go to school anymore. Maybe I'll have to activate my facebook or something to get ahold of them. I think girls might be better friends because they are usually more in touch with their feelings and emotions and willing to discuss them.
Then try to go to places where you think you can meet someone like you. Spend time in the library, if you have time find a part-time job in a video games shop, do some volounteer work. LibertyValance is right. You need to put yourself out there.
From my limited experience living in a not particularly large or bustling Canadian city, there are clubs and such to suit pretty well every interest. The reason I mentioned gaming is because one of my friends who found he didn't really know many people at his university joined the League of Legends club and got to know lots of people just playing games with them. As long as you find some sort of club based around an activity that you are actually interested in and enjoy, meeting people should not be too hard. Of course that requires there to be clubs you are interested in. So if you live in the middle of nowhere, you could still have problems. I think from your post that you are a bit younger than me so if you do decide to go to university though there are an absolutely enormous amount of clubs and such to get involved with and meeting people should be no problem at all. Getting a job in the sort of industry (retail, video game shop, grocer) people around your own age work in is also a good way to meet people as Claudian said. Unfortunately my line of work never provided me that sort of opportunity since everyone I work with is (for the most part) decades older than me. But the basic point of it all is that there are (as long as you don't live in the middle of nowhere) plenty of places and ways to meet people.
I actually happen to live almost in the middle of nowhere lol. It's a pretty small town so there isn't much. I like the library, but there are very few people there ever even though we have a pretty fair sized very nice library. Rarely ever are people my age there sadly. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I did go to an LGBT group in my area that I heard about, but it's abysmally small and the last few times I've attended nobody even showed up I have started to make friends with a girl acquiantance of mine from the teen center, so that's a good start. ---------- Post added 7th Jan 2015 at 01:24 AM ---------- Thanks you guys I really appreciate everyone here all bejng there for eachother!
