So I am 20 (gay) and I was dating a guy who turns 16 in a month. Since the age of consent in MA is 16 I told him right from the beginning we would not do anything sexual till he was 16. In addition to that I am not sexually attracted to guys (just emotionally) and i told him that from the start as well as that when i was younger I was forced into sex so i now have really bad anxiety about it and have a really hard time saying no when people tell me to do sexual stuff since i feel like i have to. On new years eve he decided to sleep over my house. Our plans were to rent movies, eat pizza, cuddle and maybe drink a little. We began to cuddle as we decided what to do and right from the beginning he kept trying to get sexual by saying "I want you in me" and even went as far as saying I was a horrible boyfriend unless i satisfy him. I repeatedly told him no and suggested we just hang out but he wouldn't listen to me and got naked. He kept trying to get me to put it in him but he noticed I wasn't even hard and insulted me saying I must be an old guy. He kept touching me until i was a tiny bit hard and then had me be in him for a few seconds until i finished. I didn't want any of this and clearly said no but my anxiety prevents me from pushing guys away etc. Long story short we broke up and he threatens to report me. I believed he loved me so much but now that his mom found out about us (he's in the closet) he hates me and even got my best friend to hate me too Did he technically rape me? If it comes to it could i report him for rape even though he's younger?
I wouldn't say it was completely rape, since he didn't really force you to have sex with him. However, he DID pressure you into doing so. But anyway, he doesn't sound like a very nice person...it sounds like he only wanted you for sex and waited until he was the right age to do it. I could be wrong, but I think it was smart of you to break up with him. It's his fault his mother found out about you guys and he is just angry and needed to take it out on someone, that someone being you. Which is probably why he made your friend hate you too. I think you should do your best to ignore him, and try explaining what happened between you two to your friend. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Best of luck~
I agree with Marionette. You probably did the right thing on breaking up. A person who loves you shouldn't force you to do anything.
Well that's kind of shitty of him. I'd be cautious dating men that young in the future. I didn't know the age of consent was any younger than 18 in any of the states. But I don't know a lot about laws in other states. If the age of concent is 16 in your state, then he can not report you for anything, I wouldn't think. Unless he lies and says you rapped him. And even at that, it would probably just be his word against yours. I wouldn't report him for rape. I would take this as a learning experience. Don't let anyone talk you into doing anything you are uncomfortable doing. I have been date raped before. Just because you end up letting someone have their way, doesn't make it any less of an invastion. In my case, I didn't fight it cause he was going to regardless, so I just didn't want to get hurt so I let him, but he knew I didn't want it. But I learned not to put myself in situations where I would be vulnerable. You have to protect yourself. If it comes down to having to tell a guy to leave your house or leaving his house, just do that. Never be forced into doing something you don't want to do. You are worth more than that.
Your ex probably heard the "wait to do anything sexual until you're 16" and not the "I'm not sexually attracted to guys" bit. That's not right that he coerced you, and it's even more wrong and immature of him threatening to report you. I looked into your state's laws on this. Since he was 16, it was not rape of a child or statutory rape. Furthermore, if anyone has a case against anyone it's you against him, since you 1) gave verbal "no" to him when you wanted to have sex, 2) he fondled and had sex with you w/o your consent. It doesn't matter what the gender of the victim is, and this kind of sex would fall under the "unnatural" sex laws of MA. But you're still protected. Here's more on the law. However, if he does report you, threaten to report him. But please don't actually do so. If this goes to court and you win and he loses, he could be spending prison time and could be registered as a sex offender. He's 16, immature, and this was a mistake by him, but I don't think it should cost him the rest of his life, you know what I mean?
