This will be long I need to let this out so I can stop thinking and crying about it. I am an emotional person. I live my whole life on feeling and trust. My family accepted me for awhile now but they don't really understand who I am. My dad doesn't want anything to do with how I live my life. My mom cares about me but she's still in denial. I can't talk to her about anything gay related. I can only talk to my cousin about my problems in life, school and with guys. I trust her and told her everything. She knows the most about me out of everyone. I trusted her but not anymore. I just found out something that I cannot say. I feel betrayed. I thought, cried and thought some more. I cannot believe what I now know. Now I don't trust anyone in my family. It's sad that the only people I trust and can get advice from are 3 new friends. I feel manipulated and used by my aunts, uncles, cousins, basically everyone except my immediate family. It hurts so much. This only strengthens my thinking of living far away from my family after I'm done with grad school. Everything changes now for better or worse. I don't care anymore about family. I can't believe the fact that I used to be so attached to everyone and love everyone in my extended family. I was loved by them but not anymore. Hopefully I learn from this life experience and come out a better person. I'm too native and trust people easily. But that will changed from today. I'm done living my life for others. Imma live my life how I want it, how I imagine it. I won't be manipulated and used anymore. I won't them anything about me anymore. I won't love them like how I used to anymore. I'm still young but I feel like I have experience too much too early. I'm glad that the truths are out. I won't live my life like how they live there. I will have friends and a family of my own that I can love and trust. I will not shred a single tear for this family anymore. By family, I mean extended family. I love my parents and sister regardless of what they say or do to me. With them, it's a love/hate relationship but at least it's unconditional love
(*hug*)Awe, I'm sorry. You have to go through this. Anyone who opposes you for being gay isn't worth your time. They aren't real friends. It may seem hard now but it WILL get better. Just look for people you can trust and talk to them about your problems. And it's good that you are living for yourself, focus on what makes you happy no matter what others think. And even though you don't know me, I am always available if you need any help or advice, or if you just need someone to talk to. I hope you feel better soon. ~Anthony
