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At what time would you consider someone your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Alex K, Jan 10, 2015.

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  1. Alex K

    Alex K
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    What level of connection would you define as a person you are seeing as your boyfriend/girlfriend? Factors like how much time you've spent together, how well the dates went, what you did, etc.

    Does the words boyfriend or girlfriend add a serious commitment to the relationship or is it more along the lines of someone I've been seeing recently and will continue to spend more time with them to see if things become more serious. The definition online is: a significant other in a regular romantic or exclusive relationship.

    I had been asked this by someone I am seeing and I said "yeah, I think so" because we had met just under three weeks ago and had been on several dates - one of which I slept at his place and spent that entire day with him. He even planned two dates back-to-back just this week and on the second night took me out to dinner. He asked me that question while we were snuggling and talking on his couch when I lightly said boyfriend without thinking much about it. He said, to him, it meant something more serious. He said we were still in the "honeymoon phase" which I can understand to some degree. I do think rationally about these things and am not one to jump in and be super committed but the way he put it hurt.

    He did say that we were exclusive and that if someone else asked him out he would say that he is "seeing someone" and I can understand that maybe using the term boyfriend might be early. I just felt a little crushed by the tone he used and exactly what he said that night. It felt like he didn't care that much. We did talk through this that night and I stayed overnight and in the morning we were fooling around and I stopped part way through and eventually left. I didn't feel comfortable with him touching me. It's hard to describe exactly what was said that night but it did make me feel somewhat unwanted.

    I don't think I'm being irrational and I don't care about labels like boyfriend; only that the tone he used and how he described things that made me feel hurt with the amount of time we've spent together and the things we did that were genuine in that time.
     
    #1 Alex K, Jan 10, 2015
  2. flyinhernikes

    flyinhernikes Guest

    have you asked him to be your bf?
    if not, then maybe ask him? maybe he only said that cuz he might think you dont wanna be his bf and just stay as you are. with the other person just keeping on guessing, are we/arent we.

    it seems you both like each other but idk i feel that if a girl doesnt ask me out/vice versa then we arent 'together' yes i would be seeing her but not in a relationship as such (even though we may only be seeing each other but still)

    maybe thats why he said that he is just 'seeing you'. just my 2c, i could be wrong though.
     
    #2 flyinhernikes, Jan 10, 2015
  3. TacobellKFC

    TacobellKFC
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    #3 TacobellKFC, Jan 10, 2015
  4. Rikudou

    Rikudou
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    Boyfriends, I would use only when I know that I can trust the person who I am using it for, and that they can trust me. It is normal for people to avoid this, like your guy in question. He might feel that putting a label on your relationship would make it serious, more so than it already is. Maybe he is not yet ready, emotionally, to deal with this situation. His response to you together with the story, lead me to believe that he has had bad experiences in the past, and does not want to rush into something uncertain. Ask yourself, do you trust him completely? Does he trust you completely? When you come at that point, he will be more than willing to call you his boyfriend. For the time being though, he is being cautious.
     
    #4 Rikudou, Jan 10, 2015
  5. Tardis2020

    Tardis2020
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    As a high school student, almost any form of non-violent human contact qualifies as something that makes someone your SO.
     
    #5 Tardis2020, Jan 10, 2015
  6. RainbowGreen

    RainbowGreen
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    I would say, the second someone proposes to be boyfriend/girlfriend and the other accepts.

    Personally, I'm friend with the person months before proposing this.
     
    #6 RainbowGreen, Jan 10, 2015
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