Being gay must be hard if you have my standards

To start off: I'm not exactly a fan of calling this a "standard". In common parlance it implies that one is objectively better than the other. Framing it as a standard does not tend to win you many friends.

Instead, let's just call it a preference. Of the whole gay population out there, there's a smattering of guys, from stereotypically effeminate to stereotypically masculine, and everything in between, and you just prefer guys on one end of that continuum.



That aside: some (hopefully) more helpful thoughts:

- Dating guys, like dating women, is a numbers game. There just isn't any way in which you can be exposed only to guys you'll be attracted to.
I'm assuming that when dating women, you don't have a way of only meeting ones you end up dating. Instead, you run into lots. Many of them are just there in the background, some of them are there as friends or acquaintances that you aren't attracted to, and only every so often there's date material there.
So dating guys will be similar. They're not sorted according to your preference, but that doesn't mean that everyone you aren't interested in is a wase of your time. Some of them might even become good friends or acquaintances. And often, friends have other friends that they can introduce you to as well.

- In fact, I took the liberty of quickly skimming your previous posts. Like I say above: dating (or in general: befriending people) is a numbers game and a "friend of a friend" game. You already have a gay sister, and at least one gay (and masculine) friend. Those are, in fact, your prime candidates for discussing this with. If you havent: come out to them, and tell them what you told us. Not many of us will be intimately familiar with the options for meeting guys in Newport News, but local friends might have some awesome hints and tips.

- Finally: do take care to know the actual person before dating them. No one is just "a masculine man". Sometimes there's other ways why it won't fit. Or, conversely, there may be ways why people who are slihgtly outside your preference are really awesome anyway. To give a personal example: I was dead-set on dating a guy who was masculine, tall, blonde, muscular, and into gaming (let's call my ideal guy Chris Hemsworth's gamer pro gay twin brother ). Somewhere along the path, I ended up dating a guy who was masculine and into gaming, but otherwise short, dark, and kinda overweight. And that's not because I settled or changed preferences. The guy ended up just being too awesome to pass up on. That isn't "violating a standard", but just taking people as they are.


so: tldr: no, it's not a lost cause. But it will require you to stick out your neck and accept that there isn't a 100% success rate. Also, it will require generally being out and open to people you meet along the way!