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Any fears about coming out to parent or parents?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by CyberScream, Jan 13, 2015.

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  1. CyberScream

    CyberScream
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wasn't sure if there was another thread like this or not. Looked at the pages and there was over 100 of them and I wasn't going to look. Sorry.

    But to the point, I have a fear about coming to my father. My mom knows and supports me, same with my younger brother. My grandma knows, she doesn't like it but she still takes care of me and loves me anyway. But the problem is with my dad. He doesn't know a darn thing about it. But I know for a fact how he is. He flips on the TV and sees Ellen on, he throws out a couple anti lesbian/gay slurs and changes the channel. Plus he uses the word Queer every so often. And sometimes calls me it because I haven't had a girlfriend since the 10th grade. But he still doesn't know. And I have wanted to tell him that I do like men. Mainly just to spite him and get it over with. But I am afraid of what might happen if I do. Our family is already falling apart as it is. I just don't want to add fuel to the flames. But at the same time... I'm sick of him saying such crap yet he has no idea he is talking about me.

    I know I'm not alone in this struggle. But it makes me feel better when I hear others opinions, thoughts, and their own stories. It will help me make the right choice.
     
    #1 CyberScream, Jan 13, 2015
  2. Libra

    Libra
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Hey. Like you said your aren't alone l have these fears, and I am right there with you. Personally I've had a girlfriend for 9 months and have realized that im not "straight" in the typical sense for quite a while.

    My parents are both very religious and think that "GAY PEOPLE ARE WORSE THAN THE NATZIS" (actual quote). I have been struggling with balancing feeling comfortable with myself, and bei ng who they want.

    I personally don't plan on telling them until after I move out, as that is the safest move. I dont want to be sent to a "Christian therapy class" or something. So ive decided to hide and wait.

    If u feel like your home situation would be compromised by telling him, I wouldnt.

    Be careful bro, but pick what feels right to you. Its your desicion and you'll have to live with it.
     
    #2 Libra, Jan 13, 2015
  3. Lazuri

    Lazuri
    Full Member

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    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Gender:
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    Libra has many good points. It's also worth pointing out that if you can avoid it, try not to come out in anger and/or to try and spite your dad as it will often not end well and the chance for understanding or even eventual understanding goes down by a lot.
     
    #3 Lazuri, Jan 14, 2015
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