I have a huge crush on my straight best friend. I told him this about a year ago. Since then we have talked more often than before. I don't know what that means exactly. Anyway, I've been thinking that he may be open to me giving him a blow job but I'm terrified to bring it up. What would you do in my situation?
If you're giving a BJ to someone of the same-sex, it's pretty rare that they are "straight". Not trying to rip ya, but yeah. Closeted "straight guys" irk me. I get it if someone is LGBT and just hasn't told anyone and is repressing their feelings. It's those "straight guys" on certain apps. that will contact me and ask me if I bottom. Well, not for you. Sorry for the rant. But really, you may not want to risk the friendship.
Although I agree with everyone who is saying it is a bad idea, simply because it would complicate your friendship, I have to disagree on the other point that they make. Some people here have said that if he agrees to allow you to give him a blow job then he can't be straight. This is just false. Sexual acts do not define peoples sexual orientation. By this same logic, any gay man who has ever had sex with a woman must secretly be straight or bisexual. No one would make this argument because we all know it is ridiculous, but the flip side of the argument does not seem to be true. It is this sort of weird cultural bias: the moment you touch another mans cock or he touches yours you magically lose all heterosexuality now and forever. If this were the case the opposite would also be true when it comes to gay men and sex with women. All of us know that it is not sexual acts that define sexual orientation. It is also certainly possible to be horny enough to be willing to have sex with someone who is not your sexual preference. It is certainly normal, also, to be curious as to what it might be like and want to experiment. It is also perfectly normal to look at a situation and say, you know what? I do not have many sexual opportunities elsewhere, so I am going to fuck this person for the time being. Of course, we all know of the numerous closet cases where guys are obviously so gay even their asshole has a lisp, but they run around calling themselves straight. These guys certainly exist. ...and yes, getting involved with them sexually is usually a bad idea. However, it is not the sex acts that make them gay. I mean, hell--most of gay porn is done by straight men who are gay for pay. Anyway, the whole point of me pointing all of this out is because if you go through with this, you are opening yourself up to a mental mistake. You have emotional feelings for this guy, and that alone should be enough for you to say "No!" even if he says "Yes!" However, if you say yes and he is open to it, you are opening yourself up to the trap where you will start to wonder about his sexual orientation. You may want to start to believe--because you have feelings for him--that he is not really 100% straight and there is a chance between the both of you. You could very well be setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment. And all of this will definitely change the dynamics of your friendship. Friends with benefits situations can work, but they always fail in situations where one individual wants to be more than just friends. It is always a recipe for getting hurt.
Going to add my voice to the "it's a bad idea" chorus, here. Because: it's not about the blowjob, here, is it? It's about hoping that, should he agree, he'd realise that you are the one for him and that you'll live happily ever after. But that's not how it works. You can't blow a person into a relationship. Blowjobvs are fun, for sure, but they can't change a person's sexuality. Even if he's curious, odds are that to him, it'll be a novelty, and that afterwards he'll move on, and you'll just sit there with even more hopes than before. Also, it could easily backfire. It could come across as if you decided "oh, he isn't into me, but might as well get some sex out of it anyway!" So in short: I advice honesty here. He knows you're bi and into him. But you could also say what you've posted in many threads before: You noticed that after you opened up to him, he opened up more to you, even about private things. And that you feel like it sometimes appears like he's flirting or coming on to you. Is this intentional, or wishful thinking? His answer to that should hopefully tell you more than offering a blow job could!
I had a crush on a guy since we were both 12, and when I was 16, I told some people I liked guys. When we were 17, he asked me to give him a blowjob as he was bi-curious. As I had secretly liked him since I was 12 I was like "yeah sure". It was nice, we both said we enjoyed it, but he did decide that he was straight. Though, if you are hoping a blowjob will lead to anything more, then don't count on it. It would be extremely unlikely. Also, I wouldn't ask him if you can give him a blowjob, as that could be seen as being disrespectful to his sexuality. If it is going to happen, it would be best to see if he initiates it. But don't hold out for him waiting for a sexual act that may never happen.
If I were you, I would be honest with him, and would tell him that I want more from him than friendship. I would ask him if he could love me as I love him. But not a blowjob, that would only carry the wrong message, and it would make things way more complicated.
This doesn't exactly hold up. Plently of gay men in denial will have sex with women because they deny their sexuality. If a guy is asked if he wants a blow job from another man and says "Yeah, alright" then he's either gay, bi or straight in denial. Needless to say, the latter one is highly unlikely. But when a completely gay man has sex with a woman, it's not because he's secretely straight but rather due to a desire to be straight.
That's not true. If one of my girl mates really wanted to have no strings sex with me, then yeah I'd probably do it. Nothing to do with wanting to be straight, just hey why not. Anyway, don't do it OP, bad idea.
< had sex with women & has no plans to do that again but I enjy flirting with them... so, don't think that you can "blow him gay"
I have no intentions of turning him gay. I just feel like he's been dropping hints that he may be at the very least "bi-curious." Crotch shots on Snapchat, dirty memes, and a few other things.
