My gf and I had an argument. I know in a relationship it is normal for couples to have misunderstandings. Long story short, I hurt her and she got mad at me. I was upset about something else and did not show her a good face. She got even mad because she thinks I was in the wrong and yet Im giving her attitude. She hurt me back. We both went to bed angry at each other. I explained to her what I was unhappy about and apologised for my attitude. She did not accept it and threw away the phone that I lent her. The phone spoilt. What I want to know is that even though I apologised and want to talk things out. She is still mad and refuses to talk to me. Is it also okay for her not to apologise for what she have done?
You might have a look here: How to Practice Nonviolent Communication: 4 Steps (with Pictures) This is a way to communicate without getting aggravated. Its like stating facts and needs, and discussing it. It might take some practice, though. It might be a good idea to reming her basically that you love her and that you have something good together. Its not of primary importance who is right. It would just reasure both of you that you are willing to work on it. You could then openly start a discussion, about your feelings and needs. Without making personal reproaches here. Like: look I was upset yesterday because I felt... Its ok to state facts, needs and emotions. Just staying on your side, without making reproaches. You could then hear out her point and maybe you could discover some fundamental things that have upset you, and how to work on that. That she has a short temper, for example... advantage might be she is spontaneous... you might agree that she will not take it out on you, and you might agree not to take it personally so soon... just an example... meaning: you could talk it out, talking about your emotions and motivations, and solve this in a loving manner. (*hug*)
