A few weeks ago, I came out to my sister, telling her I was bisexual. I thought she reacted well, but then she started to blackmail me, threatening to tell our homophobic parents. She's making me do her homework, do her chores, give her half my allowance, ect. I'm scared and upset, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to do what she says, but I'm terrified of my parents finding out, I'm positive they'll kick me out or something. I'm only 16, I can't survive on my own.
What an evil sister! My opinion: stand up for yourself. Even if she tells, that's not the same as you telling them. As far as your parents would be concerned, it's just her being a bitch due to some unknown rivalry, maybe trying to get back at you for something else. How squeaky clean is she? No drugs in her room? Nothing that she wants kept secret? ---------- Post added 15th Jan 2015 at 04:09 AM ---------- You never know, she might be the one who gets in trouble for blackmailing you.
I am so sorry that she is doing this to you. Your sister sounds like a real b***h right about now to be honest. I say stand up for yourself, don't let her walk over you like that. - As far as advice (sadly) the only thng I can think of is trying to find someone who will allow you to live with them in case she does tell them and they kick you out i.e a close friend or a relative. *Hugs* Sorry I am no help.
I agree with you, wasgij. And I also agree with the fact that wasgij says you should stand up to her. Don't be stuck in a box because of your sister. She is no better than a bully. Believe it or not, the worse case scenarios we play out in our minds don't happen quite as often as you think. Sometimes the best scenarios are where you think the worst ones are are. All I am saying is that the more courage you have, the easier things may be. You never know... But if you do decide to tell your parents, be straight up and honest. Be firm and draw the line. If they have a problem, then sit and talk about it. Educate them if possible. The best weapon is knowledge and courage. If they are Christian, then there is an excellent documentary I would recommend watching. "For The Bible Tells Me So... " Very insightful.
I'll break down your options, but it's up to you to decide which one to go with. Option #1: Stand up for yourself. Tell your sister this is wrong, explain why, and hopefully she comes around. Realistically, if she's attempting to blackmail you, this isn't going to work. She seems to be lacking common sense and a degree of sympathy. Option #2: Fight fire with fire. You could attempt to also blackmail her, by finding something she doesn't want known. Realistically, this will potentially damage the relationship. And, you'd have to be on your toes, in the event retaliation comes. However, there is a secondary option here... You say your sister has you doing her homework and chores. I suspect your parents assigned them to your sister, and expect her to do them well. You could just, you know, half-ass it and have her parents scold/punish her for it. What's she going to do? Tell them how she blackmailed you into doing her chores? Lol. Option #3: Take advantage of this opportunity. You could roll the dice and take a chance, and maybe, use this as a chance to come out. You'd at least break those chains that bind you. Realistically, you don't seem to know what could happen, by your mentioning of being possibly kicked out. So, this is a dangerous gamble. Option #4: Tell your sister to 'fuck off', and lie when she squeals. Pretty straight forward. Tell your sister you won't be doing this anymore, and if/when she goes to tell your parents, deny it. Laugh it off, act surprised, be bewildered -- anything. Assuming your parents believe you to be totally straight, this'll work in your favor, because they're already biased about your presumed sexuality. Realistically, this is probably the easiest to do. But you'd be lying, and well... folks could debate whether or not that is right. However, in this case, your safety and well being should take top priority. You can always come around, at a later and better time, and reveal your sexuality to your parents. Option #5: Turn the tables. Tell your parents it is your sister who is bisexual, but that she is casting the blame on you, to see what their reaction would be. Realistically, this is the meanest thing to do, but it, if played out right, could really teach your sister a lesson. Of course, it may also leave her bitter, thus causing the problem to get worse. But, you know, if somebody is blackmailing and disrespecting me, why the hell should I care what they think of/do with me? Look those over, give it some thought, and best of luck. Personally, I would suggest Option #1 with Option #4.
You have to be selfish and do what's best for yourself in life, but when your safety is on the line humans tend to have the flight or fight response. Sadly this is onen of those times where if you're so afraid of the situation it would be best to fight. Not your sister though. What I mean is fight your fear. What are you more afraid of? Your sister hanging this over your head forever or your parents kicking you out? If you're so afraid of your sister then you need to find a place to go as a back up plan, (shelter, other family, friends) and MAKE SURE ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE YOU ARE SAFE. Then I would go to your parents and tell them everything. Tell them how scared you are that your own sister is blackmailing you and let them see your fear. Sometimes we can't always be brave and we may need to run from a situation for our own safety. But at least you wouldn't be running with regrets and still hiding. But you need to make sure you're safe. Sending lots of love your way and wishing for the best! ♡ Ps- Of they are extremely religious ask them if God would approve of them hurting you? Probably not. They should love you unconditionally. Good luck again
what an evil sister. tell her to f:***:k off! so what if she tells your parents. why should they believe her. if you want to come out to your parents now, fine. If you don't for any one of a million possible good reasons, that's fine too. that's your call. your sister doesn't have any evidence, and if your parents are that homophobic they'll get mad at her for making up such a heinous story. and you might want to short sheet her bed in the meantime. I would sugget doing her homework one more time before you strike back -- and put down a bunch of wrong answers so that she gets burned. revenge is indeed a dish that is best served cold.
I'd lie and tell my parents that the blackmailing sister was bi like Kaiser suggested in one of her options. Alternatively feign ignorance and bet your money on your parents believing you over her. In extreme cases you could have a male friend act as a boyfriend and just say "I don't know what you're on about, I have my BF right here, I'm not gay." Most homophobic people can't tell the difference between gay and bi. But that's just me, I'm vengeful by nature and I'd try to get back at the sister. There's probably a much cleaner way out.
If there is a question that you think your parents really would restrict you, throw you out of the house, etc... I would lie and say that mean sister is just making it up. Safety over visibility. The way she is treating you, you do not owe her anything. And don't ever trust her with information again, unfortunately. At least she doesn't know anything like you having a relationship with anybody, etc. It sucks, but this is what she chose to do, not you, remember that. Hugs to you and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Honestly, this sounded too damn good to not make me grin. Just ask a male friend to play pretend with you and "be caught" making out with him. That would screw your sister's plan in a really fun way.
then again, there is always the preemptive strike. just tell your parents first that your sister said that she is bi, and then when she tries to say that no, you're the one that said that, they won't believe either one of you, and they'll probably be mad at you both.
