Me and this guy have been dating for 3 months. We haven't had sex. He isn't out and I am the first guy he has done anything with. Well, he told me that he feels awkward when he touches my penis. We have felt each other up a lot when we make out. We have good chemistry and a great connection. We can't keep our hands of each other. So, it throws me off that he feels awkward about touching me.... could this just be signs of his sexual anxiety? ( he is 23) Because he feels so worried and conflicted about the whole gay thing and coming out... or do you think that he really isn't attracted to me? He tells me I am a sexy beast and how much he loves to kiss me, hug me, cuddle me and be with me. He is weird about all sexual subject. Anal to oral. It took him awhile to warm up to me even touching him. I have gone down on him before..but he couldn't cum...do you think this is all sexual anxiety because he is still coming to terms with everything?
It could easily be fear of doing these things that were programmed in as being 'wrong'… and awkwardness to do with inexperience try some relaxing situations so you can really work things out ? practice practice!!
As the poster above says, there could be a number of reasons that are making him feel uncomfortable. He could simply be nervous, that he doesn't know what to do. Perhaps he does feel conflicted because he's been subconsciously programmed to think this is "wrong". Regarding the oral sex part of your question, a lot of guys find it hard to orgasm through oral sex, it's not always nerves... sometimes it's just not physically possible. However, from what you've described, I do think he's attracted to you. I think the only way to really get to the bottom of this is to have an open and honest discussion with him about it. Try and see if you can help him become more comfortable with his sexuality. Be patient with him, it may take some time before he's come to terms with it all.
It seems like he is attracted to you. I think that he is having sexual anxiety. I have had this same issue when I've been with other guys. I haven't come out to my parents and I've only been out to my town for a year. It takes time and courage to accept yourself and validate your own sexuality. If you are a good partner, then you will be patient and support him. Allow him to touch you when he feels ready, but tell him that you want to be touched.
I am a mostly closeted man, but I have never had any problem performing with other men. With women, yeah, that was a problem, but never with men. Definitely some kind of anxiety problem, whether it is about performance, or accepting his sexuality, or something else. He really should consider counselling or therapy, before the problem gets too ingrained in his psyche. (*hug*)
We talked about it last night. I just wanted some insight form others, in the same situation. We feel as if it is anxiety. Maybe because he feels wrong since he is not out. Plus his lack of experience versus my experience, because I will admit I have been pretty slutty in my day. But, that is not who i am anymore. So, I am thinking that is just a number of things on top of him over thinking all of those things during the actual sexual acts. With this being said. I told him that the ball is in his court. I told him that yeah, I do want sex. I do want those things. But, it is not as important as having him in my life is. Just trying to take the pressure off of him. Let him do things on his own terms. I can tell he over thinks things so much when we aren't together... but, when we are things are fine and you can see him warming up to everything. So, I am guessing I will only have relationship, sexual and other types of discussion in person and not via text. because if i am not there when we talk about it he seems to over think everything and drive himself cray cray. Thanks for your help guys
