I was raised in a very religious home. I am queer. I believe in God but I also don't believe that being LGBTQ+ is a sin. My family is very homophobic. I really am so sick of hiding. I would come out now if it wasn't for them. Please, someone give me advice. Because I'm so done and ready to relapse (self harm). -Ella Faith
I'm from a similar background; grew up in the church, gay is a choice/sin, etc. First off, are you in a place where it's safe to come out to them if all your worst nightmares come true? (i.e.: do you live at home? are you financially stable? etc.) It's crappy to think about, but it's important to protect yourself. If you are in a place where you can safely come out, and you think you have, then you should probably do it. You should also talk to some of your friends, let them know about your frustrations, let them reassure you that they're there and care about you. Whatever you do, please don't hurt yourself.
I am still at home because I'm in highschool (senior). Next year, I'll be attending a Christian school. I know I'm not in a safe place to come out. I just feel so trapped and silenced.
I am in your situation as well, and when I figure out the answer, I'll let you know! For now, I feel like the answer is to live our lives as we are, without telling the people who we think will only hurt us. We may not ever be able to have an authentic relationship with them if our only choice is to come out and be excluded or stay in the closet and never have an honest relationship with them. If there ever is a right time or place, I hope that we know it. (&&&)
I don't have much advice to offer, but I do want you to know that as you can probably already tell you are not alone. I am in a very similar situation with my families' beliefs and also being ready to be more open about myself. I understand how frustrating it can be, but please don't hurt yourself over it. Although it seems like such a big deal now, just think about how it will eventually just be very small problem in the grand scheme of things. Thats how I deal with it myself. (*hug*)
It's so difficult. Listening to them talk about how it's a choice and the thing to be now and that transgender people are sick and confused and how one little 10 second thing with a gay couple ruins an entire movie. I just want them to understand that I did not choose this. I never chose to find men and women attractive. If I could choose, I would be straight. It's so triggering. I just wish they could see all the things that helped me accept myself and come to the conclusion that it's not sinful. But I know if I asked them to watch it, they'd refuse. Plus, going to a Christian college next year will be hard. I know that sounds crazy but it's where I feel God wants me to be. Who knows, maybe I need to be there to help change the attitude towards LGBTQ+ but I don't know. With my anxiety, it's so difficult. I want to make a difference in the world for LGBTQ+ and specifically, those with religious beliefs but I don't know if I'll feel safe to come out anytime soon. Which is frustrating. I want to move on from highschool and start living my life instead of hiding. And I want to find a spouse in college, but that's so difficult when I don't feel safe coming out. Sorry for the long venting. I just don't really have anyone to talk to about this. My friends that know support me but it's hard to talk to them about it because they don't really know how to help much, because they're just highschoolers too and struggling with their own families. My one friend that doesn't have to worry about it at all (she's gay), is a freshmen and I talk to her for support but she can't really give mature advice. Just more "you're awesome, I love you, stay strong, it'll get better someday" type stuff. Thanks for listenning.
I go to church as well, and while I do believe in God I do not believe in the discrimination of the LGBT community. My church doesn't go into the topics that revolve around the LGBT community because that's not what we go to church for. In the end of the day, we're just people who want to have morals and live a better life. I suggest talking to a school counsel, or possible a therapist? I have and it has helped for me. There are only certain things that can be discussed with someone that had studied in this field. Good luck, and feel free to come back to EC to let us know what's going on.
You might look for counseling... talking to a therapist, if possible with lgbt background... saying at home you want counseling... talk to others on EC, keep asking questions in threads... look up other threads... chat with people on their walls who are in similar situations... think about becoming a full member and joining the chat... you might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/149346-where-can-i-meet-lgbtq-people.html#4 you might look for an lgbt center and go there... there might even be counseling there... and there are helplines: GLBT National Help Center and you might have a look here: PFLAG National There are resources on coming out on EC, and some people write a letter. Think about it, take the time you need. If you feel you need more time, or it might have implications, then consider it well. I'd say sleep over it, take your time. Being gay and religious should be possibe... more and more religious people are coming around... it should be about love and not about written words... (*hug*)
I would go to counseling but we don't have money. My mom is single with no child support and figuring out how we're going to pay for college.
You could ask at the next lgbt center... there might be counseling there, or support groups, or they might be able to tell if there is any reduced counseling available... Is there a counselor at your school ? Would you trust them ? Is there something like a GSA at your school ? You might even attend the GSA of another school, its possible they allow that.
I hope that you are able to change some attitudes. That has been my biggest reason for staying involved in my church, which really hasn't figured this LGBTQ+ think out very well. I lived in a small town in Kentucky that had a Christian college. The discovered that one of the students was gay by looking at his FaceBook page, and they kicked him out. So be careful! Interestingly, if a woman got pregnant, she could either marry or get kicked out. No consequences for the father of the child, though. God may indeed be calling you to be there so that you can be a living example of his love. But remember the the word "martyr" comes from the Greek word for witness! So be careful. (&&&)
Trust me, I am in a similar situation. My dad is a baptist pastor in our church and my sister and mum are an active member. I used to be very suicidal about it, tried to fit in the church but eventually found myself being conflicted with their ignorant teachings. I know it's very tough, believe me but once you outgrow from it, it will make things "easier". I go to church now just for the sake of it. When my dad or another pastor talks about how same sex marriage is wrong, I just roll my eyes out. It's even harder at home because when they spew something homophobic/bigoted, I can't defend myself because then they will suspect. I have no friends in real life who I can talk to about this and luckily, my mum knows a friend who is a therapist and talked to her about it(I am aware of the consequences but I also know that topics talked about with the patients are strictly confidential). When I realised that I have no one else who I can talk to offline, I started to talk to people online. Though it may not be as good as talking to someone who you are close with, it's definitely nice to hear that someone out there supports you so my advice for you is to keep in touch in this website. We may all be far from each other but just know that we're all glad and willing to help you get through with your problem.
Well you might get counseling for depression... not advocating meds but talking to a therapist... its possible your insurance covers that... possibly you need a referral from a doctor... you could look that up, or ask...
