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In love with another boy but not sure if he is gay/bisexual or not

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Confused1233, Jan 20, 2015.

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  1. Confused1233

    Confused1233
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    So basically I started to get to know a boy really well over the past few months who I've know for about a year. I've started to fall deeply in love with him (well I'm pretty sure) but I'm not sure if he likes boys too. When I say we have gotten really close I mean we have gotten seriously close to one another! We have messaged eachother every single day sometimes for over 12hrs for about 2 months. In these messages we tell eachother everything! We sometimes give eachother x's, love hearts and everyday we tell eachother we love eachother! Although we do say we love eachother I don't know if he means it in a friendly way or that he is actually in love with me too. When we are together he seems to be quiet and not like how he is when we message! We have got cosy together (him placing his head on my shoulder) a couple of times before we got very close but since we have become close he isn't so cosy with me. I don't know if he is just scared to make a move or if he doesn't want to get too close with me ( because he might be straight). He openly says I'm hot and we tell eachother how hot we both are. He is also very open about talking about other attractive men and will say things like "he's so hot" or "he is just so attractive". He has had girlfriends and talks about girls when we are around eachother. I know a lot of signs point to him liking me too but I'm so afraid that if I do anything irrational I might ruin or relationship! we are both teenagers. What are your thoughts? Feel free to ask me more questions of you want to know more
     
    #1 Confused1233, Jan 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015
  2. Spartan 117

    Spartan 117
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    Hey there! :slight_smile: First off, welcome to the forums!

    This is a tricky one for us to judge. I wish I could say "Oh he's definately bi/gay and totally in to you!" but there's no way for us to know for sure. You're both teenagers, and being a teenager is a pretty confusing time emotionally. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: This makes it even harder to know what he's thinking!

    It sounds like you definately have a close friendship, that's for sure. He could be straight. Perhaps he's not entirely sure how he feels yet. Or perhaps he likes you and is just very shy, and that's why he's not the same in person as he is when he messages you.

    If you want me to take a guess (and bear in mind that this is a guess) I'd say that it's not often that completely straight guys will say things like this. I mean, there's no reason why they shouldn't, but they'd have to be very comfortable with their sexuality to do so.

    I'd start by subtly suggesting that you're okay with gay/bi/pan people (if you're not out already). If he responds positively, I know it sounds super scary, but maybe you should ask him about it. I don't think he can blame you too much seeing as he says you're 'hot' and that guys are 'hot'. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: You could just say something like "I know you talk about liking girls, but you know when you said (insert hot guy here) was "hot" too, does that mean you might be bisexual? I'd be fine with it if you were! I just wondered if that's what you meant!". If that's too much maybe the next time he says "so-and-so is hot" you could just say "If he asked you out on a date, would you say yes?" or something like that. How do you think he'd react to that?

    I think once you've solved the mystery of the whole "are you bi/pan/gay" issue, the question of whether he likes you or not might fall in to place?
     
    #2 Spartan 117, Jan 20, 2015
  3. Confused1233

    Confused1233
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    Hey Glenn :slight_smile: Ill thinkk about what you said, thank you.
     
    #3 Confused1233, Jan 20, 2015
  4. Notlad

    Notlad
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    If you feel close enough and that you wouldn't be out of line asking, I'd talk to him. But only if you're sure he wouldn't react negatively.
     
    #4 Notlad, Jan 20, 2015
  5. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    Well, it sounds like he is possibly gay/bi. But you can't tell for sure.

    I think you should try coming out to him. Maybe you could also tell him how you feel about him.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #5 WhiteShadows, Jan 21, 2015
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