Closeted guys show less affection than straight guys.

Can be true, but this isn't a rule of thumb to follow! As someone who is closeted to most people, I am still open for affection in that way. My sexuality and personality aren't always linked. Likewise, some straight people find being touchy-feely with other men uncomfortable because they are concerned about their image. But yes, I agree that it can sometimes be indicative of something deeper than just not liking showing affection.

 

Totally understand, I lived in a padlocked closet for many years.
Physically I was like a total plank of wood when I was around other guys. :help:
I just could not do the "kiss kiss" on each cheek that French guys do (socially awkward as I have a lot of French friends). :icon_redf

But after coming out I'm a lot more relaxed with people in general. :eusa_danc

 

wow, this happens to me sometimes xD nobody knows about my sexuality and yes, i am extra cautious too around straight guys, especially with straight guys i just met or those i don't really know or i'm not close to.. but still i have lots of straight friends, and i get very affectionate with them, arms around neck, bro hugs and stuff( even my closest friends don't know about my me).. maybe because i'm used to being around them? or maybe because i know they are friends and nothing will go wrong with them? about the other guys, i wouldn't really feel tense being around them either as long as there are girls around or some of my straight friends are around too.. idk.. maybe i just feel nervous when i sense that the straight guy will make my sexuality obvious? oh well, i'm used to it

 

I definitely follow this. I'm not a big fan of buddy-buddyness or touching, but ever since I realized I was gay I've become super paranoid about it.

 

Not in my experience at all.... In fact, it's been the complete opposite.

 

Being in the closet for such a long I also found that I was careful about how affectionate and especially cuddly I was around other guys.

 

No. I am not like this. When I am turned on my brain turns off and I am greedy and needy and hungry and happy and a million other adjectives. I don't know if I get an adrenaline high but I get sweaty and can't take my arms off someone.

However, if I am sneaking it, then I am exactly like that. I don't like feeling like I could get caught. That is NOT the way I want to come out.

 

Well I don't have a lot of "in my experience" to think about. But I can see it both ways. But it seems as if it would be more that once you are out of the closet, you would be more worried about people's reactions. I was way more touchy feely with women when I was closeted; now I am self concious sometimes when I am in social situations with straight women. I am constantly thinking "I hope nothing is misconstrued as a come on to this straight women" straights women in my case are untouchable...so I won't conciously come onto them. But I hope they don't take anything as a come on either, because sometimes they do. Also, a gay friend of mine who is totally out, is also self concious around straight guys. They might bro hug or whatever, but he never joins in that just smiles... Although he cuts up with straight men, he never gets touchy feely for fear they might think he is coming onto him.... come to think of it though, his fear might be justified though because of his known attraction to straight men....lol But point made, I can see some people out of the closet making a concious effort to "leave straight friends alone." No touchy feely so that there are no misunderstandings. Some straight people will take any touching as a sign you are coming onto them if they know you aren't straight.

 

I think I was what the OP suggests, like when guys gave me hugs I sort of freaked out because I thought that other guys would pretty much look at me and say "You're gay" and all this other stuff. I basically was so analytical in what I did around guys so that everything told everyone else that I was straight. I definitely did not show affection around guys because of experience as well, like two times I tried to show affection, a different type of course, it was shot down by the two guys. One led to depression, the other to denial and so unless you had a bad experience with showing affection to other guys well then he wouldn't be scared to show that affection. I had two bad experiences which drew me to show less affection with guys as a closeted gay guy.

Now I am the affectionate cuddle bear guy, I just feel like I want to hug every guy I meet, I make an effort to not do it of course especially around straight guys.