Long time no see! hoping you guys can give some advice rewinding back to last april-ish I met and hooked up with a guy, we clicked really well and kept in contact through out the whole summer. we both had feelings for each other that became apparent when I was away in Barcelona and he was back on campus in the US. we had plans to go on dates and all that lovely stuff up until 5 days before this current semester started in which he told me he's been talking to another guy since november and that now they were official and he didnt know how to tell me so ta-da. naturally, i was pretty bummed, but i told him its ok and we can still be friends and yadda yadda. I have never been so wrong in all of my life. Im mostly upset that he chose someone else over me but what really puts the icing on the cake is that when i asked how things are with him he isnt happy and gets bored easily with the other guy and when i mention someone im kind of seeing he gets all quiet. on top of that both times when we have hanged out hes been excessivley touchy like ruffling my hair and placing his legs/arms/head on me and horsing around (ok kind of my fault because i allowed the horsing around but still) I've told him that being friends is going to be difficult and he even said that he doesnt know what hes doing, that hes just trying to be happy. I told him that, granted I have a steak in this so to speak, i just want him to be happy as well, but something has to give. i dont know what to do, and this weekend hes been especially unresponsive ( or maybe im just reading into things) so its got me bothered. tomorrow as some of you may know is a promo for chipotle where you get a free burrito if you buy one with a certain filling in it tomorrow and all my friends and i are stoked because we love chipotle. hes the only one available tomorrow and we have some very shaky plans to meet up, but other than an initial aggreement he hasnt said much else. im hoping we can just chill out tomorrow or at least talk some because im worried ill lose him completely p.s. im also king of seeing someone (not official) but im in the same boat as my friend, the guy im seeing is extremely shy and currently it just gets boring after a while.... and the sex sucks. and no, i havent told him about this situation, i need to find a way to let the relationship possibility go but keep the friendship possibility because we do get a long and hey, friends.
If he is official with the other guy, then you should stop making any plans involving him. You clearly don't want him just as a friend, unless i'm extremelly wrong, and it would be wrong to help him possibly cheat on his current boyfriend. And, even if you aren't official with he guy you are seeing, you should choose between seeking relationship with him or telling him about the situation with your "friend". I may be wrong, sorry if that's the case, but it seems to me that it isn't a good idea to keep this "friendship" going.
