Advice: Age disparity; I'm 20 and he's 39 :\

Relationships with large age differences can work out, there are plenty of examples to attest to that. What matters is that both people are comfortable with the difference and can look past it. Naturally this can take some adjusting and getting used to. What's important is that you do not push yourself further than you are comfortable; you want to stretch your boundaries, not break them. You can do this by taking things very slowly, for example by seeing each other without any expectations and letting things come naturally.

If he is getting agitated by you holding back, you should discuss how you feel with him. He will understand and help you if he cares about you.

This isn't to say a relationship with a gap of 19 years won't have its challenges at times, but if you feel it's worth it then you can make it work.

 

The reality is that age is far from merely a number. Age is rarely a factor in our ability to form varying degrees of attraction and even deep connections; however, age is capable of having an immense influence on the longevity and feasibility of a relationship. You have been enjoying the time that you have spent with him, but there is absolutely a clear difference between having a sexual or lighthearted relationship with an individual and formally establishing something serious. This is the time when it is important to evaluate what exactly we are committing to. An integral part of being a mature, self-aware individual is being able to recognize that simply because we have the opportunity to take certain actions in our live does not mean that we should. The presence of love and some degree of a connection between two people is not a valid reason to carry out a relationship despite glaring conflicts.

Ultimately, the concept of love conquering all is no less misguided than the concept of a parents support and love for a child being endless. It is a wonderful sentiment in theory, but it is far from a reasonable statement when we actually look to society. You are apprehensive into entering this relationship for a reason. You are not entirely comfortable with this for a reason. If love truly tended to prevail, we wouldn't live in a society in which the majority of relationships end before death. You must take red flags and intuition seriously before jumping into to these types of things, or there is a high likelihood that you will come to regret ignoring them further down the road.

 

You can give it a try if you really feel it's a missed opportunity, just as long as you go no faster than what you are comfortable with and remain open to the possibility that it might not work out.

Also, don't think that because the relationship is different or unusual it's inherently better. Arguably simplicity is important in any relationship; you don't want a list of disparities that come between you. What you must value and focus on the most is the love (or lack thereof) you have for one another.

 

I also wish to echo that this is a perfectly valid reason to not enter this relationship. Wise people end relationships all the time simply because there is a conflict in the future they are seeking. Personally, the future that I wish to have in regards to having a family would be impossible with a partner that was so significantly older. It doesn't necessarily have to be a matter of creating a family either; it could be working towards a career and not intending to settle down or enter a serious relationship or marriage for a certain amount of time. It could be not wanting to commit to a relationship in which you know that one partner will be considered a senior citizen before the other is officially middle-aged.

There are people who have no issues with living life day to day. They might not be wary of entering such a relationship because they have no issue taking it for what it is; however, if you happen to be someone who has certain expectations for your future and you know that you wish to have certain factors or experiences in your life that might be hindered or less possible by entering this relationship than you have a duty to yourself, and your partner for that matter, to end this before it begins.

 

I think you've answered your question then. If you're hestitant about the difference, conscious of the likely complications and reluctant to attach yourself then it's wise to heed these intuitions and end it. Gen makes a good point to highlight the difference between an easy, lighthearted relationship of a flirtatious and sexual nature and a more difficult, long-term commitment of a serious nature. It's unlikely the latter will last for a long period of time because of the significant difficulties you'll inevitably face.