How to develop/consolidate friendships?

Hey all, I've been holding off on asking this for a while now partly because of... well, my pride honestly, and the fact I think it is a bit of a stupid question. But as they say, the only stupid question is the one left unasked, right?

Basically I'm wondering how to make friendships more... smoothly, for want of a better word, and to make the friendships I have more personal. I think my "default settings" as it were make me seem quite aloof- I don't often choose to go and talk to unfamiliar people beyond matters about classes/work, especially if they're in groups, and I don't really show my personality in such public settings.

So far at uni I've tried to take more notice of my behaviour and be more open with people. I talk to people slightly more, offer to go out with some, try and listen closely to their interests or problems, try and look more approachable... generally conscious efforts to be more friendly, because I suspect I don't naturally come across that way. And I've made two very good friends out of my flatmates from trying to do this.

The thing is... when it comes to making new friends I still act very awkwardly around groups I'm less familiar/don't resonate with, and I still don't trust myself to just go over and start a winning conversation with them. So I still have a tendency to be the lone wolf in those types of situations; I'm not very adaptable or confident there. And with my good friends, I don't really know how to go about making these friendships closer (as in, confiding in each other often/having a special bond) without seeming contrived or strange. It's like, I develop casual friendship dynamics just fine, but don't know how to reach the stage of becoming *really* good, emotionally intimate friends. I don't feel like I can say to them "I'm feeling down, can we talk about it" or "I really appreciate your friendship". I'm really not expressive there, even though I'd... well, quite like those kinds of friendships and to be that kind of friend for someone.

I'm aware not all of this might make sense, and maybe I'm expecting too much. But here goes; any suggestions on how I can make more and/or closer friends, or develop my confidence to?

 

Thanks for responses guys! @SeriousJack- true, that's what I need to do. In general I have a cautious approach to friendships... I'm slow to open up to people unless I've had lots of time to weigh it up and have a plan to laugh it off if they don't take it seriously/well. I've found also, I actually try to be in a group of 3 people rather than one-on-one, since I feel a lot of pressure to "perform" in a one-on-one conversation, since there's no-one else to fill the gaps I leave (but I'll only open up to one person at a time). I guess I need to look past these instincts and trust myself in one-on-one situations, as well as be more explicit about thoughts I have, because I can talk about serious issues and I like going places with friends, just at times I worry too much about it.

@Thrip- yeah, I think that sums up how I operate mostly. My behaviour changes a lot from group to group, and I can be quite muted or even avoidant in less familiar groups. I just don't know what to say. With my friends I at least have in-jokes and banter to fall back on, but with new people long silences are, um, quite likely. Partly, it's also that I'm still trying to find my hobbies and interests, and I fear that people won't find me interesting if they dig deep enough, so subconsciously at least I kind of make people into these judges of my character and worry about what they're thinking of me... irrational and wrong, I know, but there's that. Maybe it's more to do with how I view myself as much as my social abilities. But thanks, your advice is good and you didn't deserve to lose your friends because of coming out (no-one does)