So, I have this super cute friend and she's really great and we've known eachother for a long time and all that. I've never really thought of her as anything more than a friend before but it's been running through my mind lately. Thing is, I know she identifies as aromantic (she'll fawn over fictional romances but real life sap makes her uncomfortable). I don't know very much about aromantics and what all they do and don't experience so I'm uncertain of what would be okay with her. I want to make sure I go about this properly and wiki was no help, so I need some advice. Mainly I'm just wondering if there's any way I could persue a relationship with her. Let it be noted, I'm not big on romance myself, but I can picture myself living with her and telling her about my day and cooking for her and being like "hey, this is my girlfriend" and hugging her like crazy when she's had a bad day and *deep breath* So, yeah. That's it I think. Thanks in advance for your help. :icon_redf
Sounds like you really like her. In all honestly, I don't know much about Aromantic either. I am biromantic, though I only physically like guys... I am dating a girl now though. Do you think she'll accept you? If you think she never will then it may sound harsh but... Unrequited love sucks. However, from what you say, I have hope for you two. I'd tell her exactly what you said on here... though write that stuff down! Saying all that in a hurried confession works in shows, but most unflirty people I know disapprove of... hurried conversation. Heck, I asked my gf out via a letter! Do whatever you think works, because she sounds like one heck of a girl!
From what I know of the ace spectrum, an aromantic doesn't have romantic desires, but that doesn't mean they can't have a romantic relationship, in the same way an asexual can still have sex even though they have no sexual desires. So yes I think it is possible to have a romantic relationship with her.
If she likes fictional romances, doesn't that mean that she can identify with the characters? I'd say, get to know her well enough to discuss the whole issue of relationships, and see if you could work it out.
I agree with Nedussa.. If she can enjoy fictional romance then she must have romantic preferences/likes. You've got to talk to her to find out whether a relationship with you would be something she'd like to pursue.
Thank you for the advice, everyone! I'm honestly a bit of a coward when it comes to the whole "confession of feelings" thing, but I'll let you know if anything comes of this
Aromantic pretty much means 'no romantic attraction' as in they aren't interested in relationships to begin with. They can still be in relationships, but usually for different reasons. I do think a lot of people confuse romance and what romantic attraction actually is. Stereotypical romance is mushy huggy/kissy/corny stuff and many non-aromantics hate it as well. True aromantics on the other hand are incapable of falling in love with their partners; and if they do love someone it's only in a platonic friend like way. Think of it like asexuals having and enjoying sex; it can happen, but they don't actually think their partners are hot or desirable. Aromantics can enjoy kissing/dating kind of things but they never develop feelings for anyone is all. While a relationship can happen, and aros can show romantic gestures, It's important to realize that romantic attraction is impossible, but if you can handle that, why not?
