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how long would you wait?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by NatWheeled, Jan 28, 2015.

  1. NatWheeled

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    As many of you may know I've been in an online relationship for the past 6 months. I'll admit its my first legitimate relationship so I'm inexperienced. We've chatted almost daily, a few sporatic time gaps due to technical difficulties on both sides. We've also exchanged a few letters and Christmas gifts by mail. Nothing too expensive or romantic. I got her a chimpanzee stuffed animal, she loves monkeys. She drew me a picture of a wolf, my favorite animal. She's such an amazing artist!

    Last Saturday was the last I've heard from her. I've contact with a friend of hers and am told that my girlfriend has gone off grid, out into the mountains....nobody knows how long She'll be out of touch. Last time it was 3 months. She's told me before that this is what she does when upset. Its like she reaches a breaking point n just has to get away for awhile. She still checks email every now n then (not sure how, maybe comes to town for supplies n goes to the library?) To see if there's anything her family needs or any important mail. So I've sent a couple emails and a letter. I'm hurt she took off without telling me but more than that I'm just concerned. I miss her dearly n desperately wish there was something I could do. Some friends tell me I should move on and that she's playing games....but she's not like that (I know you've heard that before). Anyways I'm resolved to wait her out....I love her and I cannot leave her when she needs me, even if she just needs me to wait patiently. I will wait, pray, and write to her, though I know not when she'll receive my letters or emails. I just want her to know I'm still here for her.

    Sorry this got long, I just needed to put this somewhere. I've waited my whole life to find this girl, what's a few weeks? Or months?? Am I crazy???? How long would you wait? :bang::help::bang:
     
  2. EpicConfusion

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    That's a decision you have to make yourself. I personally don't think I could handle that sort of situation. Long-distance relationships are bad enough as it is, they don't need any more hardship. It is strange that she would not tell you before she left... Once you get in contact with her, I would tell her how worried you were. I would make it clear that it's fine if she needs a break, but you need a warning first. Maybe you might ask her if she's really serious about your relationship.
     
  3. turtlemom

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    It sounds like your friend has emotional problems and is not capable of a relationship with anyone at this time in her life. Sure, you could choose to wait this time, the next time and the time after that but you have to ask yourself is this the kind of relationship that you want and are heppy with. It's your choice.
     
  4. i think comunication in anything is deffinately key to anything working out ever. be it friendship or something more. she hasnt communicated with you that she is going away for a significant amount of time, that would rise concern imo. if anyone goes away for a long whil without telling anyone then something might be up. the fact that she left and didnt tell you is a little harsh. if she said to her friends hey tell xxx ill be in xyz place for a while just let them know im okay tell them ill check in once in a while ro seomthing, just so you know she is okay would of probs been better fro you and maybe a little more... considerate? but that didnt happen and it sounds like you had to probe her friends to find out and she didnt leave a message with them telling them to tell you, you had to ask yourself is a little odd.

    if that was me though, i wouldnt wait. it sounds like she is playing games or testing you. eevn though you say she isnt like that. if she cared then she would of left a message with her friends or even just sent a quick message to you saying hey im going xxx for a while wont be in conact till im back. or something like that. understand if its a spontaneous trip away for a weekend but if she goes for months thats just not fair imo without letting you know. but yeah in short i wouldnt wait. but of course what you do is completely your descision no one can tell you what to do.

    i get that she might be great but if someone was that great (imo) they would give me notice before taking off for longer than a weekend/week.