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i know the answer but ill ask anyway

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by flyinhernikes, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. ill try keep it short.
    guy met online, seemed nice. told me he wanted friends and maybe more. i said friends only. all seemed dandy. he kept texting a lot. i told him i was busy, and he needed to stop being so clingy. (he text me like why are you so busy. couldnt seem to understand i work out a lot.... and have a job. and ya.) he said okay. he backed off.

    few days go by he said about meeting for coffee. i said yeah but didnt know when i would be free. he text me saying he would come to my town randomly on my day off. i never responded becuase i was busy the rest of the day, later that night i text back that i was busy and no i would prefer we meet in the middle. (we live 3 hrs apart). few more weeks go by we talk about coffee again he said it wasnt a problem that he would come to me. i was adament that i would prefer we meet in the middle and i didnt know when i would be free. (not much time off work due to manager ill so had to cover) weeeeks go by. we didnt speak.

    then he texts again randomly merry xmas and complimenting me, but i was ill during xmas and totally forgot to reply him. then he texts again a few weeks later asking if i wasnt talking to him.

    it was my fault i didnt reply his xmas text but i assume i will have to just nip this in the bud and eitehr
    a. just meet this guy for coffee soon cuz im in his area in a few weeks for a gig, and maybe he might text saying 'yeah was great can i take you on a date' then me having to do the awkward im gay and i said i only want friends.
    b. not ever meet him. or tell him im gay before meeting him... idk.

    (we didnt meet on a dating site just a random chat site) idk. what do i do? ignoring him is an option also i suppose... but i dont think thats the right one as much as i would like it to be. i of course could be reading him totally wrong though.... im not good with guys... or girls for that matter :lol:
     
  2. Spartan 117

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    Hmm, this is a tricky one! My instinct is telling me that the reason he wants to meet you so desperately is because he wants to be more than 'just friends', despite what he says.

    You didn't really say how you felt about him? Would it not be too much of a disaster if you didn't meet up? Would it be too much of a disaster if you didn't speak to him again? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    He seems to be a lot more interested in pursuing a relationship (of whatever kind) with you, than you are with him. If you feel like ignoring him isn't the right thing to do, I suggest that maybe you should tell him that you're gay. Maybe reinforce the fact you two won't be anything more than friends. At least then you'll (hopefully) know he's not just being persistent because he wants to go on a date!
     
  3. jay777

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    I would agree. You might say you are are gay, so he does not hold up false hopes.

    Have you thought about what you would like ? A friend ? Someone to chat online ?
    You might even tell him.
     
  4. thanks peeps.

    im sure hes a great guy but alas the only thing putting me off meeting him was the fact he seemed so keen. not like yeah coffee seems fine let me know when youre free like the casual kind, but his response a few times have been 'i dont want to wait 2 weeks to have coffee thats too long so ill come down to you on your day off' so..... im not sure what to make of him.

    initially he was nice and we have things in common and i told him i only wanna be friends but he just seemed a lil eager. its always good to make new friends though and that is all i want so maybe i should give him the benefit of the doubt. ill try to bring up being gay in convo somehow.... and see how it goes.

    but thanks chummys :slight_smile:
     
  5. Reluisant

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    i would just be honest and say that you want to be friends and you hope he isn't looking for something more with you because you are gay.
     
  6. Bluewolf7

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    I know it's a very hard thing to decide on what to do and think about. He sounds a bit different and even a little pushy to get to meet up to you. I don't know how long you've chatted online with him before this, but sadly there are people out there online who aren't really who they say they are and don't have good intentions. Ignoring him from now on is an option and could be maybe the best one. Reading your post, you sound a bit uneasy with him I think. I care about your safety, and that comes first.
    I know you might be worried and nervous about the whole thing, but tell him how you really feel and that you are gay. See how he then responds to that.

    I wish you very well, and please keep us updated. :slight_smile:
     
  7. redneck

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    Personally I would run like hell and set fire to every bridge I crossed while getting as far away from him as possible!!

    There just seems to be something wrong here. You don't really know him, yet he seems almost desperate to meet you ONLY ON HIS TERMS. I'm trying to put 2 and 2 together here but I keep getting 5?
     
  8. Sepina

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    I think plan A would do you good, just take a friend for your comfort and safety.