Hello folks, I don't post often, so I feel like I have to introduce myself every time. I'm RedGhost. Male. Cis. Gay. Radical. College student. So, I've never had a bf before, of course, I've thought about it a lot. I don't have any gay friends tbh, only online, and since I go to school online and I'm busy working (fast food job) I don't really have a social circle to rely on for dating stuff. Sure, I've had customers before that I thought mayyybe, but my employers are strictly religious and pretty mean, so I don't bring it up at work and stay professional. Anyway, I've been hanging out with a childhood friend recently (code name: Billy), since we've reconnected and I'm lonely (ha), and I've hung out with his friends from time to time. My friend knows my plight, and I may or may not have spilled how desperate I am in the romance department a few times, so he keeps bringing up a friend of his (code name: Peter Pan) whom he thinks is bi because (A) he dates girls but (B) keeps confessing to my friend about the guys he's been with and he's clearly curious. I wasn't interested. I mean, Billy's been my friend for a long time so I can overlook his dorkiness and other stuff, but I couldn't see myself dating one of his friends. They're the kind of guys who haven't gotten the hygiene notification yet and still wear socks and sandals and make jokes about really insensitive things that would make anyone who isn't a straight, white male uncomfortable. Sooo I wasn't interested, until I found out a while ago that I've actually already met Peter Pan, he's different from Billy's usual friends, and kind of cute. After months, I finally tell Billy "Fine, set us up or something" so we can meet in a casual setting, and for two months, Billy has been making up excuses as to why he can't hook me up. Our friendship is doing fine, at the moment. I've even snuck into his film appreciation class a couple times to watch movies with him, and it's pretty fun (and sneaking is just mischievous and thrilling, though it's hardly sneaking since the TAs are asleep half the time). We're used to sharing our problems since we have similar issues (feelings of being trapped at home, family members on the autism spectrum who drive us nuts, close to finishing our degrees), but I keep getting the feeling he's dodging me on this. I brought up Peter Pan a couple days ago while we were walking to the store with my brother, and even my brother was suspicious when Billy told me how conflicting his schedule was at the moment and how "Peter Pan is probably busy." I'd like to say I don't care, but it's like the bait was right in my face, and now he's reeling it away. Is Billy being shady, or am I looking too much into this? ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2015 at 06:02 PM ---------- TL;DR version: My friend's been pushing me to meet another friend of his who's interested in me, but now that I'm all for it, he's being dodgy. Fake or nah?
That sounds like he could be interested in one thing, but not the whole thing. Or else he'd put the effort in. I didn't read the whole post so I could be wrong. I'm having trouble reading and concentrating. But get someone who makes you feel good.
Something's not adding up, but to me it just seems like he either keeps forgetting or (more likely) that he's not actually that close to Peter Pan and so he'd feel awkward asking. A bit more info could help here, though. Is Billy gay (I'm assuming not)? A bit of a more extreme thought would be that Peter Pan is interested in Billy, as he's confided in Billy a fair amount about his experiences with guys. Also, is there any sinister reason why Billy wouldn't do you this favour? Another possibility (and please don't be offended by this; I'm not trying to troll here) is that he asked and Peter Pan declined, he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he dodges the question.
Worry not, my feelings are spared. I've thought of pretty much every possible explanation, and that has occurred to me. I wondered what if Peter Pan is getting just as much info from Billy as me? It'd be weird, though, considering we've been friends since we were 6 and he's only known Peter Pan for a couple years. Billy is straight, but not very good at flirting and dating. I think Peter Pan would be interested in me because we've met before, nearly a year ago actually, and though it was brief, he shook my hand the whole time and asked a lot of borderline-flirting questions until a friend interrupted. I had no idea at the time that the guy I met was the Peter Pan my friend would start telling me about, not until right before Christmas when I saw a picture of him. Anyway, Billy was snapchatting him while we were out and he sent Peter Pan a pic of me (this was around Christmas) and Peter Pan responded... positively. Hehe, no details needed. So it can't be because Billy likes me or Peter Pan (he's straight and is just a neutral party in that since). It can't be because Peter Pan isn't interested because, as far as I can assume (and I know Billy) Peter Pan isn't hearing the same things I'm hearing, and knows very little about me. Also, Billy can be kind of... clinical? Like, he can put facts and data ahead of people, so it'd be odd for him to keep that from me to spare my feelings. The plan was for Billy to just hang out with Peter Pan like they usually do, but invite me along so we can meet each other the normal way. Idk, this is just weird. Maybe Peter Pan is interested in Billy, though—warning, this is going to sound incredibly shallow—if we based things on looks + intrigue, I'm the better fit. Billy's kind of grubby, overweight, uniform consists of basketball shorts and tattered skate shoes, while me, well, I'm a catch. ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2015 at 09:13 PM ---------- Oh god, I sound really shallow, now.
Ask Billy to give you Peter Pan's number, and then you can cut out the (in this case ineffective) middle man.
Would that be too forward? I've never done this before ---------- Post added 30th Jan 2015 at 01:35 PM ---------- Quick rant note: Billy and I are different in how we approach things. Billy likes this girl, and though I formed a clear plan on how to get to this girl, he has made a thousand excuses as to why he can't at the moment and has been putting it off. Had I been in his situation, I'd already have her. Now he is both my obstacle and my only path to Peter Pan. It's so unfair. All my charm and looks and knack for holding even the most dull conversations goes to waste because I can't get within a hundred feet of the guy. Or any guy. Well, I could always just wait until I'm 21 (6 months now) and go to a bar, though I hear that's not the place you want to meet someone for a relationship.
Since you've been angling at this for about a year, you might as well take the chance. The worst thing that could happen is that Billy doesn't tell you, which would be...odd. Also, is there no other channel that you can chat to Peter Pan on? Facebook? Twitter?
I said "F--- it" and sent him a friend request on Facebook! I kind of feel obligated to get further with this on my own at a disadvantage than if Billy were helping me with his advantage. Wish me luck.
Hey, Slushie? I didn't know if I should make a new thread for this, I can, but you asked for updates, so... I met Peter Pan. Completely by coincidence. In my neighborhood in front of my house. Annnd without Billy there. And he's different from what I thought he'd be, and it took me the better part of an hour to realize he was flirting with me the whole time, and I flirted back, annnnd I think this is a thing.
