I told my friend i liked her and i did not get the reaction i expected.. here's the story: I tried to get this girl to let me in since last semester and she finally did and she acted like she liked me and wanted me around. You know, I even made sure it wasn't me forcing it by letting her text me first a lot and ask to see me more than I asked her. The problem is she never told me if she liked girls. She'd bring it up.. like gay rights and how you should be able to be with who ever you want and I guess I never thought I had to ask her. I guess I thought shed tell me if she wasn't into me. So I let it go and we kept hanging out and talking 24/7 and she'd snapchat me every morning and she'd ask to see me at least three times a week... So one night we were texting after she got home and she asked if I got home ok like she always did... We were flirting like we always do, calling each other cute and stuff. We had plans to hang out a few days later and she stood me up completely! I even asked her the night before if she still wanted to see me and she said yes. Didn't answer her phone. Didn't message me, nothing. Didn't talk to me for four days then shows up saying she lost her phone. I knew it was a lie because I saw her snapchat score change and Facebook said she was on mobile when i checked when she didn't respond to me. So I called her out on it and she didn't talk to me for two weeks until new years eve. New year's eve she texts me saying sorry and I said I accepted her apology but I was still mad she lied.. we texted for a bit.. days went by. she asked me to come meet her friends acting like everything was normal. I couldn't take it anymore and was just like "look I have feelings for you and if you aren't feeling the same way I don't think it's a good idea to hang out" she replied basically telling me she liked me but wants to be my friend and is straight.. I didn't call her out on it because honestly what was the point anymore.. but anyways I said I couldn't be her friend right now and she responded by replying the next day saying sorry it had to be this way, looking at my snap stories, deleting me from everything and didn't say anything else to me. it's been 3 weeks and she hasn't said a word to me. nothing. we see each other and i don't even get a smile. we lock eyes and that's it. Now here's the thing.. she had so many opportunities to tell me she was straight and she chose not to. she even asked me about being with girls and i told her i didn't care much about labels and she said she agreed completely and that labels are dumb. And meeting her friends? well, ok but i'm pretty sure i was meeting them without them knowing about us talking 24/7 and hanging out so much. one night i was with her and her bestfriend called and she wouldn't even tell her she was with me.. nothing.. she just kept ignoring the question. it was like i was her secret "friend". but why keep a friend a secret?? Any advice? I'm just so confused honestly. did i fall for a girl who is confused about her sexuality?? is she waiting for me to be able to be friends again? i have no idea what's going on with this girl! i did not expect her to react the way she did at all.
she sounds like she digs you, as a confused straight girl. you could step back from seeing her as a potential girlfriend and approach her as a friend. try to get her to open up about her feelings, or perhaps try having a more platonic friendship? otherwise, maybe it's best to move on. sounds complicated to me. i don't know if i'd want to hang around with someone who kept me as a secret (well i do know, the answer is i wouldn't).
I'm probably making too many assumptions here, but it sounds like she's one of those fiercely independent feline types, like cats that purr and suddenly cut you without warning. And you sound a bit possessive. You want her to be yours. Dangerous combination. I've got the same thing. I find independent people incredibly alluring, but they're always fleeing from anything resembling even a hint of commitment. A date? Hell no! It's just hanging out with a friend. Being on time, showing up at all, or bothering to reply to messages? Maybe, maybe not. Don't you like surprises? All you need to know is that your priority is somewhere in her "unimportant chore" region between grocery shopping and degreasing the oven. OK, maybe it's not so bad. You probably did the right thing by standing up for yourself and dumping her when you couldn't take it any more. You don't want to put up with that flaky nonsense. For me, I'm still learning to give people A LOT of space. And not just 'giving' people space, but acknowledging that they don't want me in control in the first place. When your friend stood you up, maybe she was freaking out. But what was she freaking out about? Probably about feeling claustrophobic and pressured by the lack of options. You were taking away her sense of freedom.
