I want him back

My name is Andrew; I'm from Long Island in New York.

I am writing to you because the guy I was dating and I broke up on January 27th. What happened is down below.

First Michael live in Manhattan is 21 years old. I live on Long Island (about an hour outside of Manhattan) and I am 21 years old.

I met him on November 26th and we have been talking every day since then except for today. Things were great and amazing. He seemed to really like me and I really liked him. He couldn't wait to see me it was amazing.

I thought things were going well enough to ask him to be my boyfriend on January 6th. at first he just turned around and sat in my car and didn't give me an answer. When we got back to my house he turned to me and said that I think we are rushing this and I want to take it slow and I said that we have been dating for a month and a half do you want to be my boyfriend and he said yes the second time. Things were fine.

Since that time he and I had never been alone and always had at least one of his friends around. I've mingled with his friends b/c I know they mean a lot to him. But I got angry b/c I wasn't getting the chance to have him to myself to get to know him more. That was January 8th.

Since Wednesday January 8th, I have noticed that Michael has been acting a little strangely so I decided to ask him is everything okay and he answered no. I told him that I had something to ask and he said okay. I asked him, "Do you think we rushed into being boyfriends?". Now he claimed to have his answer to that question on Monday when I first had asked him to be my boyfriend but I don't recall. Either way he said yes he thinks we did. I said okay. He asked why I was asking him and I said that I have noticed that you have been acting a little distant at some points and I just wanted to know if it was something I had done or not. We continued talking about and he asked me if I was over Mike and Julien and if I trust him. I told that I have no emotional attachment to either one of them. He said okay. But I also said that I am afraid of being cheated on again which is something I am still trying to deal with. He felt as though that I was not fully over them and I said that I am I just feel like I still need to build my trust with you. He said that's why I feel like we rushed into this. I asked him what does he want to do and he said that we are already boyfriends, why don't we just see where this goes. I told him that fine with me, let's live life, have fun, and see where this goes.

A week later we decided to go back to just dating exclusively but things still didn't feel right.

Originally Michael was supposed to come out to Long Island Sunday night after moving and stay over and go home Monday night. I moved my work schedule to make sure I could spend time with him. Well he got called into work tonight so he asked me if I would help move him so we can kinda spend time together and then go to Long Island after. (Thus making all my jockeying around work initially unnecessary. I didnt know about the storm yet). I said that was fine I'll help move and then we will go out to Long Island.

I finally got into the city to see him gave him and huge hug and waited to see if he would kiss me but he didn't. Well half way through the day he said that I don't think I can go out to Long Island tonight I have alot of unpacking and laundry to do. I said that was fine even though I am disappointed but you're going to have to come out eventually. The rest of the night I helped him with his laundry b/c no one else would. He was very irritated that no one else would help so I tried to make the best out of the situation. It started to get late so I decided I would stay in Manhattan yet again. After we were finally done with his laundry, the rest of the night was spent hanging out with his friends, again for the 3rd or 4th time. We all played a game and then we went to bed. He and I spoke a little bit and then fell asleep.

This morning I was up before him and I was trying to cuddle with him but for some reason it wouldn't happen (like it normally would before we had that decision we have now). I had to ask him to cuddle with me (maybe he just wasn't comfortable bc we were sleeping on the hard wood floors. Anyway I woke him up to see if he wanted to grab breakfast downtown before I went home and he was a little iffy b/c he wasn't ready at all. I was fooling around with him to get him up and I couldn't help myself but kiss him. I felt like I was pushing him to do something that he didn't want to. I said I was sorry and I hope that didn't make you feel uncomfortable. Did it? He said it didn't until I asked him about it. Well we got up and got ready and I felt like he was very awkward all morning. I tried to kiss him two other times bc I thought that would have been okay but he turned away and when I asked why he said b/c it feels forced and I said okay but I tried to let it roll off my shoulder but its still rolling around in my head. We went to breakfast and talked most of the meal just about the differences between NY and WY and stuff like that. I paid for breakfast and which surprised him and made him a little embarrassed but he said thank you. I asked did he want to walk me to Penn Station and he said yeah. about halfway through I held his hand but he didn't pull away. Once at Penn Station we were waiting for the train and he was just asking questions about Long Island. My train got called and I told him I don't know if we will see each other before Valentine's Day and he cut me off and said that I'm sure we will. We gave each other a huge hug and I looked at him and he looked at me and I leaned in for a quick little peck and ran down the stairs before I missed the train.

The following day I was supposed to FaceTime with him b/c he was out of work early but I had school the next day so I told him that I would be going to bed at 11:30. Well he was texting me until about that time and I asked do you want to FaceTime and he didn't answer. I told him to call me and he did. We spoke about what was happening and that he still wanted to remain friends b/c he thinks this was just bad timing b/c he was moving. So I told I didn't know if that would be possible so I would let him know. Yesterday I told him that I would still want to be friends with him and he was happy about that. I told that when he was ready he can contact me. During the day he messaged me through the game we were playing and continued playing the game. Later that night he messaged me saying "I hope your day at school went well!" So I messaged him when I got up "It went well! I think it's going to be a good semester! A lot of funny things happened to me!lol""I hope your day went well as well!"

Then last night he decided to text me and it was an hour conversation and it was really nice.

What do I do to show him that I am sorry for how I was acting b/c I didn’t realize it. How do I ensure that I get him to give me that second chance?