I'm sure this is nothing new but I'm sort of feeling helpless and could use some advice. Long story short I am a college student who is only recently out to friends. I'm currently fighting some kind of manic depression and will soon see a.specialist because it is taking over my life. Anyway,,I've unfortunately developed a crush on a straight friend. I'm out to him and he seems very chill and accepting but I'm almost sure he's totally straight. Problem is he's really down to earth and honestly not that bad looking so I can't help but like him. He invites me to study with him because we have a lot.of.the same classes but I'm sort of afraid if I hang out with him I will get attached and.he might find out. I'm also afraid to initiate contact because I'm afraid my trying.to talk to him will just make it more.obvious. what do you guys think? Thanks so much.
Just ask him if he is gay. If he handles his space a little more closer than most people would want, then he might be gay, but if he is straight, its all right, just see him as a friend. Gay guys like hot guys, even if they are straight.
I thought about that but honestly I'm afraid it might backfire and freak him out. And since we have the same circle of friends, things could get even more awkward. Then again, this is all new to me so it's worth a shot I guess.
*sighs. Story of my life too. The thing in my situation is if I like him because he is really good looking or I would want to be in a relationship with him. So confusing for me.
Maybe don't ask "are you gay?" but "what's your sexual orientation?". That way he has more options than yes/no and I feel like it's a less direct question (although that might just be me). From your description he seems like a nice guy so hopefully he would just answer the question and not be weird about it. I was starting to develop feelings for a female friend of mine a while ago and I just asked her about her sexuality. She's straight, but that's ok, and I'm glad I asked because I didn't get my hopes up too much before I realised she wasn't interested.
i know how that feels :lol: especially when you're crushing on a guy because he's nice, kind to you & "down to earth", and not just because of his looks, it's really hard to shake that feeling off, haha :icon_redf if you think telling him about your feelings will freak him out, then the first thing to ask is, do you even want to proceed at all? but the the thing is, you said he's "very chill and accepting" of your sexuality this means he's probably more open to this kind of feelings too, and chances are, he's already expected that, somehow, you have a crush on him :icon_redf and if he's cool enough with it to invite you to study, then i don't think it will really freak him out if you tell him you like him you know, some straight guys are even flattered when they know that a gay guy has a crush on him.. sure it might feel a little awkward and he might not feel the same, but your friend is a nice guy and i think he will appreciate your feeling just as much as anyone would appreciate when another person admire him whether she's a girl or he's a boy, whether he's straight or not so how would you tell him? maybe you should just tell him directly on a normal conversation.. just make it light, don't make the conversation too serious, like it's a huge deal that you admire him, it might make it more awkward.. just tell him how a friend would :lol: just make sure it's the right moment and the right place when you tell him and everything will be fine or maybe, you should tell him that you HAD a crush on him before and it's all gone now, see how he reacts, and if he's cool with it, just tell him you're crushing on him again, haha :lol: this is just how i feel it would turn out..but anyway, i wish you the best (*hug*) :thewave:
Melvin has a good plan! He made some really good points! Our 19 yr old gay son has had this happen twice now. Both is straight friends are extremely nice people and a good friend. Our son told them that he not only had a crush but loved them. It may have been a little akward but both the friends were very understanding and it really helped our son just get it out and be done with it. He is still attracted to them but some how it really helped him cope with it.
Haha thanks everyone I really appreciate all the feedback. I think if I ever do ask him I'll just ask if he would ever consider dating a guy, and go from there. Long story short I've gotten a little more comfortable talking to him and so I think I can handle just being friends. I feel like if he was remotely interested he would've already told me, since I'm out to him. But who knows, next time we're alone I may test the water a bit. WE'll see.
I was going to advise against Sh1f73r's suggestion just because it seems too forward; it might cause him to get defensive even if he might consider it based on how absolute the answer you expect from him is. I like your idea to ask him if he'd ever consider it. It's a lot more cautious and gives him room to explore the idea without having to say anything for certain. If he gets weird, well, you could always play it off as curiosity about the mind of a straight person. If he says maybe, then that's reason to get a little excited. :eusa_danc
