the title says it all. my mum, with her controlling, not letting me have friends, homophobic attitude has finally got to me. i genuinely can't take it any more. having revised all day, my mum lets me stay off church to revise. I am finished by the time she gets back, and, having revised all day, i decide to play a game. that's not okay, though. because i play a game, she seems to think that this made me devil spawn. she has proceeded to make my anxiety issues resurface. I am shaking as i write this. a few minutes ago, i was trying having to bite my finger to stop myself from screaming please help me guys.
Hey Images and Words, Sorry this is happening to you. My boyfriend's father used to be like that in the past, it was really hard to him. But things get better, believe me. Nowadays, he is on his 20's, and, even if his father doesn't like his videogames or his gay relationship (a.k.a. doesn't like me), he keeps quiet about it. Of course, not everybody is the same, but the important is that things get better, and it is worth living to see the future. You are 15, correct? Have you thought about moving in a soon future? Like when you are 17, peraphs going to another place to study? That way, you could be more independent and have your own life.
Okay, take a deep breath...smile at the end if you can try. I really feel for you here. As controling as my mom was in my earlier childhood, yours definitely takes the Queen's prize. Does she realize how upset and perhaps, dehumanizing she's being? Sometimes parents see too much in the end goal of "civilizing" their children they can forget the simplest parental obligation of nurturing and just simply being present to emotional needs. I would say maybe try talking to her (in the most respecful way you can so she doesn't feel under attack) about how she's making you feel? I'm hoping that maybe if she becomes aware of your depression and how's she's pushing you to the end of your willingness to live, a loving light will go off in her head. If she still doesn't open up, I would try to come into contact with a relative of some sort (aunt,uncle, sister/brother, father) or a suicide hotline. In any case know that we are here for you whenever you need it and just remember that you may be at a bottom now but things will get better! Stay strong!
I'm not going to tell you to "look on the bright side" or "it gets better," because I've been there and I know that's not what you want to hear. Do know that these struggles are only going to make you stronger and that taking your life is not the answer. Get help, call a suicide hotline, do what you have to do so that YOU can get better. I'm new here so I don't know a lot of the people here but I can tell you There is an entire community here of people who have dealt with this and know that we all stand with you and many of us, to some extent, know what your dealing with. Hang in there.
thanks, guys. although i've talked to my mum before, she doesn't seem to be particularly willing to help. She just says about how she's "only trying to help" yet doesn't seem to understand the fact that the reason i'm talking to her is because what she is doing ISN'T working. I think I'll call a suicide hotline next time she's out of the house, and see if that helps. thanks, once again, I&W
I've been there before. My mother was also very controlling and tried to interfere with my relationships, specially friends. She was (and still is) pretty much my way or the highway type. I dealt with it by not being around her : I went out with friends a lot, or spend time in coffee shops reading or doing homework... They were interesting times, but I also got into troubles a lot. The problem was that I needed a place to sleep and take a shower from time to time, so I had to go back. Then she exploded and started to shout at me, being very aggressive. Me, being who I am, I shouted at her back... And hell started, as usual. She even demanded I gave her the keys and never came back again. Back then I had all my books at her place, and all my computers, so to give her back the damned keys wasn't an option, and besides... Where would I sleep? Most of my friends were either doing illegal stuff (and I didn't wanted to join the club), or they were living at home with their folks. I don't know... the only thing that comes to mind is to ask to your relatives if you could spend a few weeks living with them. Some relative you really trust, like your grandma or your uncle, or whatever... It could do you a lot of good, and also improve your relationships with that relative. I think it's worth a try. Also try this The Meditation Podcast | Episode 28 - Emotional Clearing when it's too hot to handle. I wish you the best and if you feel suicidal again, please talk to me, even if you think it's just ranting, 'cause I've been there and I still remember (*hug*)
Thanks! I'll listen to the podcast when I get a break from revision. I think that the is very much the way that I would describe my mum. I would go and stay with one of my few friends who is over 18, but he's just moved to america. :bang: Thanks again for the help!
What a coincidence, my mother is the same... I had some serious problems at your age. Do you have a "safe heaven" (translated word, Idk if that fits here...) a place where you can be alone... can be while a walk, in the woods or your room... Try spending less time with her and more with others (alone is not a good idea...) talking to people, like good friends is very important! please talk to somebody to distract yourself! @Vodkabaret thanks for that podcast, I will listen into that this night...
