So, there's this guy at school I like... I don't know if he's into guys, but either way I'd like to try getting to know him better. We usually only talk during computer class, because we work in pairs and we were the only ones who didn't find someone else, so we ended up together and will be like that for the rest of the year. The complicated part is that I'm awful when it comes to communication and social situations. Meeting new people makes me anxious, so when he started asking me all these questions about myself when we first met each other I avoided answering some of them, particularly those about my interests (I thought "It's none of his business"), but I did not expect to find myself falling for him later... So I'm afraid I came off as uninterested or distant in some of our conversations. I'm also afraid he might not be interested in me at all. The other day during class he was showing some girls who sit next to us some photos of a professional model who he thinks is "the most gorgeous girl ever". But then he asked the girls who they thought was the the hottest guy ever, and they showed him and he said he was cute. He was pointing out which pictures he thought looked better too, but then he stopped and jokingly said he was going to stop making "gay comments", and went to back to checking out girls in their underwear. Anyway, I guess what I'm asking is how do I get him to notice me?
I know this might not be the answer you are looking for, but the truth is you don't make someone notice you. If you are trying extra hard to live up to what you think they want, you aren't being yourself and that's not a good way to start a relationship. If you do like him, you need to be open with who you are and let him either fall for that or fall for nothing. I know this may seem bleak and right now you might feel like you can't live without him returning your feelings. However in the bigger picture once you find someone that loves you for who you are you won't stay awake at night wishing you had been fake to make him like you. Of course, there's still the chance he might grow to like you. This of course relies upon him being sexually attracted to you as he might be straight. Based on the given anecdotes, it's difficult to tell but I'd say there's still a chance, however as an outsider in this situation I can't give you any reasonable suggestion. The way you make the best of this situation is to be the best version of yourself. Smile, be friendly, reciprocate the amount of attention he gives you, and for bonus points make him aware of your sexuality. If he knows you're gay and starts liking you then he will feel more comfortable making a move. However if doing this will put you at risk of harm or you don't want to make it public then it's okay to keep it to yourself. I'm rooting for you, good luck.
That is a predicament. I'm fairly sure, though, if you keep interacting with him, you'd get a better idea of how and who he is. You already have one thing to talk about. You're in a computer class, and this opens up other commonalities: you're both going to school, you're both sharing a grade (unless you are graded individually, not as a combined effort). I suspect you both do things besides go to computer class, so there's a decent branch off topic for you: ask him how his day is (or "What's crack-a-lackin'?", or whatever is poppin' in the streets), see if that gets him to drop any information. If he doesn't, you can always bring up something you did. A television program you watched? A movie you saw? A funny-little-thing-before-class story? What you're excited to do after class? And so on and so forth. Just be mellow, and it shouldn't come off as weird or creepy, lol. Some people will excitedly blurt out questions -- you don't want to be one of those people, LOL. That may be, but you could just apologize for 'acting/being like that'. Maybe say, you were a little stressed about school/life/whatever, and you didn't mean to come off like that. Obviously you were under some stress, you mention being anxious. This is an easy fix. Some of us don't shine at first, we gradually burn brighter. So long as you're cool with the fellow, there should be no ill feelings. It's hard to tell what his sense of humor is like from this. He could just be a confidently jolly individual, or a snarky cynic. That says a lot about somebody, I feel... That's a little bit of a risky effort, though, to just casually do. There's something behind that. A hint? Wanting to see if you'll bite? Ironic humor? To put it simply: Be yourself. I know, you're thinking, really? That cliche line... I know, it seems silly, but hear me out. By being who you are, you'll find out who likes you for you and not who you can be. Anybody worth having in your life, especially in an intimate manner, should appreciate and like you for you. Sure, there's things you could say or try, which would get his attention. But it could be a head-high and a heart-empty kind of relationship, and those aren't easy dealings. Just be as enjoyable as you are, and keep it cool. If somebody finds you make their life more enjoyable/easier, they'll stick around, because most of us don't like negativity or drama. You stand out, and that is okay. At worst, you could be friends. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. Or... Listen to Sek, because, they're spot on.
Sek: Your advice was just what I needed: I think I was overcomplicating the situation, trying to hide stuff from him out of fear that he could think I'm weird. We had computer class today and we talked quite a lot about school, his birthday (it was yesterday) and other random things (nobody actually works in computer class, lol). I tried to be friendly and keep the conversation going, which is something I often struggle with when I'm with people I don't know very well. It often leads to an "awkward silence" moment. :eusa_doh: But that didn't happen a lot today. Kaiser: I didn't read your reply before school today, but you also gave me great advice that I will keep in mind for the future. "Some of us don't shine at first, we gradually burn brighter." - This was just what I needed to hear, thank you. To clarify some details: we do share a grade, even though I'm the one doing all the work. We actually both hate this class, so we do have something in common. :lol: Also, "a confidently jolly individual" is good way to describe him, but I got more of a "no homo" vibe from his comment. I can't tell if there's a real reason behind this insecurity, as in he's actually attracted to other guys, or if he just thought he got carried away and wanted to remind those two girls of his straightness. I doubt it was intended as hint as he wasn't even talking to me, I was playing a game on my phone and not participating in that conversation. I was sitting next to him though, so I guess it's not completely impossible. I do think he likes me at least as a friend... he smiles a lot, is always nice and laughs at all my jokes. :icon_bigg Thank you both for your replies! I will keep this thread updated if there are any relevant developments.
